


Come to life (on hiatus for now)

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A doll coming to life AU, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Bullying, Depression, Doll!Magnus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Human!Alec, I want to try something new, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Supernatural Elements, i guess?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8546323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: On his birthday, Alec receives a special present from his mom; a doll. At first confused, unable to understand why the doll is so special, but gets attached to it throughtout the years and finally understands what makes the doll so special.Alec had always been a happy and out going child, quite popular at school. However, after losing a friend, he started shutting people from his life and all that he wanted was to be completely alone. Being alone calmed him down, it helped him think. Also, that way he didn't have to deal with other people and their problems. Besides, he had learned not to trust other people, they had always let him down; all of them did. But Magnus was different, the was always there for him. When things got too hard for him to deal on his own, he would talk to Magnus and that would help him calm down. In didn't matter that Magnus wasn't alive, it was enough just to know that he had someone. A freak... that was people called him. Why? Alec didn't get that as well. He just wanted to fit in and blend in with the others, but he couldn't... He couldn't even accept himself, so how was he expecting for other people to accept him for who he really was?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Another 'supernatural' fanfiction. I actually got an idea for it from a manga ''Lover's doll'', so it is loosely based on that.
> 
> I hope that you enjoy it :)
> 
> This fanfiction will deal with the main character having difficulties with self-acceptance and being bullied and having not being able to bring himself to trust other people. I know it sounds pretty dark, but please bare with me, since I still haven't completely decided what I want this to be xD

“Alec, close your eyes,” ordered a woman to his young son.

“I don’t want to,” whined the boy, not wanting to close his eyes. It was his eighth birthday, so he knew that his mom probably had another present for him. With that on his mind, an excited smile spread across the boy’s face and he clapped with his hands, excited to get another present. Besides, he knew that it was going to be a good one; his mom always had a good taste in picking out a good present for him.

“Now, now,” said Maryse with a smile on his face and gently ruffled her son’s hair. “If you’ll be a good boy, you’re going to get another present. But if you see it now, it’ll ruin the surprise, right?”

Alec’s cheeks coloured themselves into bright pink colour when his mom spoke to him like that, since his friends were there as well. He quickly turned his head and saw his friends trying to hold back their laughter. He puffed his cheeks and gave his mom an angry look. However, the woman couldn’t really take her son’s anger seriously, he was just too cute. She pinched one of his cheeks, making Alec’s embarrassment grow bigger.

“Mom, stop it!” said Alec, who had it enough and crossed his arms on top of his chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said and sighed. “Now, how about it? Close your eyes and I’ll give you another present.”

“Okay,” said Alec, whose anger disappeared in a split second. He then closed his eyes and extended his arms out, his whole body shaking from excitement. However, a frown formed between his eyebrows when he heard that his friends started laughing again as his mom placed the present into his hands. And he soon realised it why; when he opened his eyes, he saw a doll in his hands. It was true that the doll was a boy, but that still didn’t explain why his mom would get him something like that for a present.

“Mom!” whined the boy and gave his mom a confused look. “A doll?!” he asked, his face heating up. He didn’t get it; his mom would always buy him cool things… so why a doll now?! Dolls were for girls and all that Alec wanted to do was to throw the doll away, but he didn’t want to hurt his mom’s feelings.

“Yes, a doll,” said Maryse and chuckled when he saw the blush on his son’s cheeks. “This one is super special, just so you know. The nice old lady that sold it to me said that if you’ll treasure it well enough, the doll will be your best friend,” she said, proud of herself to get her son a present like that; it seemed really meaningful to her. However, she could tell that Alec wasn’t too fond of the doll.

“Ah,” said Alec and turned the doll in his hands. The doll had black hair, the tips of it coloured in deep shades of blue and was dressed into blue and black clothes. Well, at least it wasn’t a Barbie doll. The boy looked around the room and noticed that his friends were still laughing at him. However, he knew that his mom must’ve put a lot of effort into his birthday party and the present, so he didn’t make a scene. Instead, he placed the doll onto a table and then gave his mom a hug. “Thank you, mom,” he muttered and smiled up at his mom.

“No problem, sweetie,” said the woman. “You know, the lady told me that if you name him, then he will stay with you forever.” That only made Alec’s friends laughter grow louder and the little boy gave his mom a weak smile, immediately looking away and he could only hope that she will going to leave the room soon, so that he could finally hide the doll away.

“Umm, thanks mom,” said Alec and then pressed his lips together.

“Alright then,” said Maryse, when she could tell that her son wanted to be alone with other boys again. She smiled and chuckled, ruffling Alec’s hair gently, before straightening herself up, walking to the door. “I’ll go then, so that you boys can play alone,” she said. “If there’s anything that you need, just call me, okay?”

“Okay,” said Alec, weight lifting off of his chest. As soon his mom left the room, Alec grabbed the doll, Alec’s cheeks dusting themselves with bright pink colour, since he could feel the eyes of his friends on him. He didn’t even dare to look at them, so he quickly carried the doll into his room, hiding it under his bed. Once he returned back, the other boys started teasing him, but soon stopped and the party was again in the full go.

Once the day came to the end and Alec’s friends went home, the little boy was completely exhausted. He had a lot of fun on his birthday with his friend and he was happy that the party was perfect. It was pretty late by the time that Alec went into his room, to go to sleep. He had so much fun that he had completely forgotten about the doll that his mom had given to him. However, as soon as he stepped inside of his room, he was pretty surprised to see it sitting on his bed. Didn’t he hide it under his bed earlier?

“Maybe mom put it there,” said the boy to himself, but the frown didn’t disappear, because he didn’t remember his mom going to his room that day at all. He puffed his cheeks and walked to the bed, throwing himself on it and relaxed his body; he was too tired to be thinking about it. He lazily picked up the doll and then sat up, taking a closer look at it.

The doll kind of reminded him of a Ken doll, but it was slightly bigger. He had a smile on his face, his hair black. He was dressed into jeans and black T-shirt. What surprised Alec even more was the fact that the doll was wearing eye make-up. “I thought it’s supposed to be a boy,” he muttered, but once he lifted the doll’s shirt, he saw that he wasn’t mistaken; it really was a boy. His face flushed into deeper shades of red when he found himself to be looking at the doll’s body, so he quickly placed his shirt down and cleared his throat, thankful that he was alone in the room

Even though Alec didn’t usually like playing with dolls, he kind of like that one. The doll had a really pretty face, the smile on its face making Alec smile as well. Alec moved the doll’s legs, putting him into sitting position as well and as he sat the doll down onto his bed, he lied down onto his tummy, supporting himself on his elbows, continuing to stare at his mom’s present. She said that it was supposed to be a ‘special’ toy? But how?

“What makes you so special?” asked Alec and turned the toy around, searching if it had a string attached to it… maybe he could talk? But once he found nothing special about it, he let out a disappointed groan. “There’s nothing special about you. I don’t get it, you can’t even talk,” he muttered and when he turned the doll around, his eyes widened when he noticed that something about it changed. Alec could’ve sworn that it had a smile on its face earlier, but now the doll looked somehow… sad? The boy rubbed his eyes a few times, in the end coming to a conclusion that he was probably just making things up when he saw that the doll had a smile on its face again. He was old enough to know that dolls weren’t really alive; that only happened in fairy tales.

“Mom said that I could give you a name,” said Alec then, when he remembered that his mom said something about giving him a doll and then he was supposed to stay with him forever? No matter how embarrassing it was, it would really be cool to have a best friend forever; even if it was just a doll. Alec had a lot of friends, but none of them was close enough to him that Alec could call him a best friend. That sometimes made the little boy lonely. “What would be a good name for you?”

 He then remembered his favourite fairy-tale, which had a character _Magnus_ in it. The name itself was pretty to him, because Magnus in that fairy tale was his favourite character. The doll’s smile made him kind of happy and it reminded him of the way that the character was drawn in his books. In that moment, Alec decided that that was the perfect name for his new doll.

“I’ll name you Magnus,” he said and a smile brightened his face. He then pressed the doll against his chest and let out a happy giggle, completely oblivious to the fact that Magnus was then smiling as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ten years later**

* * *

 

Alec woke up earlier than usual that day, because it was his birthday; he was going to be 18 that day and he wasn’t really excited about celebrating his birthday. Birthdays made him feel uncomfortable; they put him in the centre of attention, which he didn’t like at all. Throughout the years he had gotten kind of tired of celebrating birthdays. He didn’t really get it why was his family making such a big fuss out of his birthday, probably because he was going to be what they call a ‘legal’ adult. They had invited a lot of relatives for that day to come to their house to celebrate Alec’s special day. The young man wished that they would just stop making a circus out of his birthday, but in the end it kind of made sense… it was his mother’s work after all. Maryse loved preparing parties, so he knew that she was going to make a big deal out of it.

Alec lazily turned on his side and rubbed his eyes, yawning as he slowly got up into sitting position, still too lazy to actually get out of the bed. He wrapped himself with a blanket and then sighed, looking around the room. His eyes stopped on his favourite doll, that he had received from his mother exactly 10 years ago and he smiled to himself. His mother was right after all; even though Alec didn’t want to admit it to himself, it became his best friend; which was kind of sad really.

Alec was really out going as a child and was pretty popular at school. But as he grew older, he slowly started shutting the people around him out and he liked it a lot better if he was alone, without having anyone around to bother him. But things got really bad when he lost his best friend in a car accident. After that, he was really never the same. He tried to find another friend after that, but the hole in his heart could never really be replaced; the only thing that really helped him to kind of move on was no other than Magnus. He didn’t even know it when, but he got really attached to his toy, feeling truly happy when he was completely alone in his room and talking to the doll. It calmed him down, because he actually listened to him, no matter if he was real or not. Alec needed someone to trust and to know that they would be always there for him, which he found in Magnus.

Alec’s parents tried to get him help, so that he could move on from the loss of his best friend. They dragged Alec to various psychologists, because that were the only thing they could think of; they tried to talk to their son, but he didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt less if he pretended that it never happened. Alec hated going to the doctors, it just made him feel that he was insane, and he was far from being that. Just seeing the other patients there drove him insane; he wasn’t like them. His diagnosis… severe depression, which didn’t surprise anyone really. There were days that Alec was feeling completely fine, then there were days when his emotions were completely numb, or he would just cry constantly. However, when the doctor gave him medication for his depression, he refused to take them; if he would that would just mean that he really was going insane.

One day, Robert saw Alec talking to his doll, he was horrified and ended up taking the doll from him and threatened to throw it away if Alec wouldn’t stop spending all of his free time with it. By then, Alec was old enough to stop playing with such toys and to Robert it was bizarre to have his son talking to his toy. He wanted to normal son, but the fact that Alec found the toy to be his best friend, that was far from the being normal. But he soon returned it, since his son’s condition had gotten worse. Alec would scream, kick and cry when he couldn’t find Magnus in his room, Maryse begging her husband to return the doll to their son; at least that way, Alec wasn’t feeling so down. When Alec heard his parents fighting about that, he was much more careful not to be caught by his parents when he would talk to Magnus.

Sometimes he got really lonely, especially when he saw his classmates going out and partying, having relationships and all sorts of things. However, he was far too shy for doing something like that. At start, he forced himself to go out on a party or two, but it always ended badly for him. The people that invited him to go with ended up ditching him and he had to manage on his own, which was hard for a person that was an introvert, suffering with depression.

When he needed someone to talk to, Magnus was there… he was always there. A sad smile came upon Alec’s face as he got up from the bed and he walked closer to the doll, gently caressing his cheek with his thumb and he sighed. If only he could somehow make him alive… that was what Alec found himself saying a lot lately. Then, he would finally have someone that would be his best friend.

“If only you could come to life… somehow,” he whispered, still running his thumb over the doll’s cold cheek and he bit his lower lip. He didn’t need anyone to tell him how silly that wish was, but it was something that he wished for the most; it was his birthday, so why not ask for miracles, right?

The truth was that Alec was lonely, really lonely. There were nights that he felt so lonely that he could barely breathe; the loneliness was too much for him to bare. It was true that Magnus listened, but he had one flaw; he never talked back to him. Alec was desperate to hear some words of comfort, someone that would tell him that he wasn’t a freak after all. The need to have someone to talk to was so big and he was ready to do anything to have a person there that actually listen to him. He had just changed schools and was feeling extremely lonely, he had absolutely no one. The people at the new school were much different from the previous one; no one really cared about friendship. Not to mention the bullying that happened on daily basis. Even the professors were cold towards their students. His heart clenched at that and he pushed his lips together.

“I shouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself,” whispered Alec and leaned against the wall. “There are people out there that have it much worse than I do,” he said to himself. “I’m lonely, so what?” he added and looked at Magnus. “Right?”

Alec then placed his palm against forehead and shook his head; why was he talking to a doll? That was stupid. Also, he was old enough and the thought of still having a doll was… embarrassing. And yet, he found himself coming back to him. Alec took in a deep breath and then swallowed thickly when he heard the doorbell ringing; his relatives had already started coming. Great… he would have to socialise with people that he barely knew, which was pretty sad since they were his family.

“God, I’m pathetic,” said the young man to himself and sighed. “It’s my birthday. I should be happy, not feeling sorry for myself,” he then continued the conversation with himself, but could do nothing to make the uneasiness go away.

There was no point in pretending; he knew how the day was going to go. First his relatives were going to ask him how his school work was going, which in all honesty wasn’t going the way that Alec wanted it to go. He used to be on top of his class in his previous school, but now his grades were getting lower and lower; Alec knowing what was the reason behind it. He hated the new school so much that he refused to study. Also, even if he wanted to… he found himself unable to do it. The reason for that? No idea.

And then… his relatives would ask much more annoying and embarrassing questions.

‘Do you have a girlfriend?’

‘Why are you still single, Alec?’

‘When I was your age, I was almost married. You should hurry up and snatch up a pretty girl to marry.’

“Ah, this is fucking annoying,” cursed the young man and gritted his teeth. He had no wishes or intentions of getting a girlfriend. What was the point? All of the girls that he had known until then were annoying, so he didn’t see the point of putting up with them. Second reason… he wasn’t attracted to them. If being a depressed introvert wasn’t enough, of course he had to be gay as well. That was yet another thing that made Alec’s everyday life just a bit more difficult, he absolutely refused the fact that he was attracted to people the same gender as he was. He _was_ going to be normal, even if that was the last thing that he was going to do.

“Alec,” heard a voice calling for him from the downstairs and he rolled his eyes and he let out an annoyed groan; it was his annoying aunt. “Your mom said that you’re upstairs. Come down and stop hiding!” she continued. “It’s your special day after all, you have to spend it with your family.”

“Great,” said Alec and took in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for going downstairs.  He then rubbed his palms together and took a quick glance at his doll, which appeared to be laughing at him. That was another thing that Alec couldn’t explain ever since he was little; sometimes it seemed as if Magnus had a mind of his own. Just then, it seemed as if his eyes were laughing at Alec, which annoyed him even more.

“What are you laughing at?” asked Alec, annoyed and grabbed Magnus into his hand, squeezing him tight, but not too tightly. “You know, you have it easy. All you do is sit here all day and do nothing. You don’t have to deal with other people or their problems,” he then added and shook his head. “Trade places with me.”

Still annoyed, and wanting to vent out his annoyance and anger, Alec threw the doll onto his bed and then slammed the door, completely oblivious of the fact that the smiling face of Magnus was changed by an expression filled with deep sadness and hurt.

* * *

 

 The whole day went as Alec expected it to go; horrible. It was even worse than he imagined it to go. At first, it was just the usual annoying questions that bothered the young man, but he managed to brush them off and he even thought that he was going to be able to pull it off without any fights or out brakes. But, oh, was he wrong. It all started in the middle of the dinner, with the annoying question of ‘why don’t you have a girlfriend?’ which was continued by ‘are you gay?’

At that question, Alec completely shut down and stopped eating his food. His face darkened and he looked down, not being able to look up at any of his family members, not even his mother. He didn’t know how to answer that question; he didn’t even know it himself what he was. Why did it matter to them so much? So he didn’t have a girlfriend… was that so horrible? However, his silence was enough to let the people around the table, tell enough.

“Honey, why are you so silent?” asked Maryse, worried. “Is something the matter? You know, you don’t have to answer the question. Besides, it doesn’t really matter.”

“N-no, mom, I am completely fine,” he replied and gave him mom a weak smile, but Alec’s cousin had a completely different reaction; he was completely disgusted and Alec’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach when he could see the look in his eyes; it was enough to let him know how he truly felt.

“No it is not fine!” snapped the other teen and got onto his legs. “Mom, I told you that he was a freak!” went on by saying the younger one and he looked at Alec’s mother’s sister. “The last time that we were here, I saw him hugging and talking to that stupid doll of his. I know that he is crazy and now he is attracted to men as well? That I just fucking sick and disgusting,” he whined and gave Alec another look of disgust. “I seriously can’t believe that we’re related.”

Alec did nothing; he was just staring in front of himself, completely numb. What was he supposed to feel, anyway? He knew it all himself, he didn’t need to have another person telling him how fucked up and disgusting he was. Alec knew it all of that himself and it fucking hurt. However, just the next second, all of the feelings came crushing down on him and he had to bite his lower lip, to prevent it from trembling. He grabbed his jeans and then dug his fingers deep into his thighs, taking in deep and shallow breaths in order to keep his head straight. He needed to have his feelings under control; just like he usually had. He hated when other people could tell what he was thinking or feeling, it was much easier to hide behind a mask.

The next few moments passed by in complete silence; none of the people knew what to do or say really. Alec’s mother placed a hand on her son’s shoulder, but she gained no reaction from him. Alec allowed his hair to completely cover his face as he looked down, because he didn’t want to show others that the tears had started gathering in his eyes. He didn’t even know it why, but the room suddenly became really cold and all that he wanted was to disappear and be completely alone. He didn’t need anyone around him; he was completely fine on his own, having Magnus around him.

Oh God, he really was a freak, wasn’t he? Just as his cousin said… wishing to speak to a doll. What the hell was wrong with him?! He placed a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes tightly, ignoring the tears wetting his face and he then bit the insides of his cheeks, trying to remember himself not to let his emotions win over.

“Honey,” said Maryse carefully and sighed, giving her nephew an angry look. “Don’t listen to him,” she then said as she was trying to comfort her son, but it didn’t really work. “If you want to, we could go somewhere else, just the two of us and-”

“There’s no need to do that, mom, really,” said Alec and quickly wiped the tears away, finally looking up at his mom and forced a bright smile on his face. “It would be kind of pointless; you spent so much time preparing for this day and I don’t want your hard work go to nothing,” he said and dug his fingernails deep into his palm when the tears wanted to come back. “I’m fine, really.”

“Alec, you’re not-”

“Why did we even have to come here?” asked Alec’s cousin and groaned. “Like seriously, I don’t get it. I have to come here every year and pretend like I give a shit about him,” added the teen and rolled his eyes. “And he’s never grateful about it either. Whenever we try to talk to him he’s always quiet.”

“You know what,” said Alec’s mother and looked at her sister. “You should tell your son to shut the hell up.”

“Excuse me?!” snapped the other woman and crossed her arms on top of her chest. “Don’t you ever dare to speak to my son like that ever again!”

“Oh yeah? And what about the way he’s speaking to my son right now?!”

“Enough,” said Alec, his voice small. He then slowly got up on his legs and looked at his mom. He hated when people fought and now he hated himself more than any time before; Maryse and her sister were fighting because of him. It was his fault. If only he could be something what people considered normal, then none of this would happen. The guilt clawed into his chest and he let out a small sigh, trying to even out his breathing.

“Where are you going?” asked the woman.

“To my room,” said Alec and sighed. “You know, I’m not feeling really well. I wasn’t able to sleep during the night and-”

“That’s not-”

“I’m fine, mom!” snapped Alec and turned around.

“I bet he’s going to talk to that stupid doll again,” was what he heard the last before he disappeared upstairs, heading straight for his room.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Alec locked himself inside of his room, he threw himself onto the bed and buried his face into the pillow, letting out a muffled scream, feeling a lot better right after, but the uneasiness remained and he couldn’t block it out like he usually did. He knew what was going to help him; Magnus! Just holding him close helped him to calm down like a charm, every time. He got up into sitting position, expecting to see the doll somewhere on the bed next to him. However, when he couldn’t find him, Alec’s eyes widened in both, shock and fear. Where the hell was he?!

Alec got off of his bed and checked under his bed, just in case if he had fallen there when he threw himself onto the bed, but Alec couldn’t find the doll there. “Where the hell is he?” he asked out loud, surprised to hear how badly his voice was trembling.

After he had searched every part of his room, and still couldn’t find Magnus anywhere, Alec was completely devastated. Did someone take him on purpose? It would make sense; it had to be his cousin! With that on his mind, tears welled in Alec’s eyes again and he buried his face into his palms, letting out a loud sob, because he knew that if that really happened, then he would never be able to see his doll again. There was no way that he was going to ask his cousin if he took his doll; he would just get hurt even more. And even if he would ask; there was no way that the other one would admit it!

“God, I hate him,” whispered Alec and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down it. Once he reached the floor, he brought his knees up to his chin and just hugged himself and did the only thing he could really do; cry. Without Magnus he felt so helpless and stripped down, he couldn’t deal with these raw emotions on his own. Without him, he was really completely alone.

That realisation brought Alec down even more, his chest tightening and he could barely breathe as tears continued rolling down his face. Alec was a person that hated crying, he liked having his emotions under control; if he didn’t, he felt weak and he hated that. However, once he started to cry, he couldn’t stop. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, but Alec didn’t answer. It was his mother, begging him to come out of his room so that they could talk. The young man ignored her calls and continued to silently cry, placing hands on top of his ears; he didn’t like that his mother worried too much about him.

“Shit, shit, shit… this is bad,” he said in between his sobbing and he shook his head. His cousin’s words stung, they cut into his heart like a cold blade. Then again, what hurt even more was that he was right; he was a freak. That was exactly what his classmates would call him at the school and it was the word that he hated the most. He didn’t want to be a freak, he wanted to be a normal person, just like everyone else. The wish to fit in was so out of his reach and knowing that killed Alec. He absolutely despised himself because of that.

“I don’t want to be a freak.”

“You aren’t,” suddenly said a voice, calm and warm and so familiar to Alec, but he didn’t know where to place it. The fact that someone beside him spoke, scared Alec and his eyes widened in shock when he looked up, surprised to see a young man kneeling next to him. The other one’s skin was tanned, his hair black and blue and he was beyond beautiful. Alec had to remind himself to stop staring at the stranger and quickly moved further away from the unknown man.

“W-who the hell are you?” whispered Alec and looked around the room. “H-how did you get inside? Who let you in?”

“You don’t recognise me?” asked the man, sounding disappointed.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re really a bad master. I thought that after owning me for ten years, you would be able to recognise me like this as well,” he said and looked away, hiding his disappointment from the other. “You even gave me a name.”

Alec’s cheeks coloured themselves into bright pink colour when the other called him a ‘master’. On the other hand, he still had no clue what he was talking about. When he took another look at him, he kind of looked like Magnus and he was also wearing the same clothes as him! But there was no way that that was him. It had to be some sick joke that his cousin played on him and-

“M-Magnus?” asked Alec carefully. “Y-you’re trying to tell me that you’re the doll?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit,” said Alec and shook his head. “There’s no way that you’re real and-”

“You don’t believe me?” he asked, visibly hurt by Alec’s words. He came closer to Alec and his heart broke when the other flinched, squeezed himself harder against the wall and closed his eyes. He was used to having this kind of reaction when people learned that he was actually alive, but he thought that his new owner was different. He took Alec’s hand into his own and placed it against his cheek.

Alec gasped when the other touched him, his heart hammering against his chest from fear. When he touched something really cold, he opened his eyes and was surprised to see that he was touching Magnus’ cheek. To the touch, it was much firmer and colder than a normal person’s skin and Alec blinked a few times, his heart hammering against his chest as he was still trying to comprehend what in the world was going on. “Why are you so cold?” blurted out Alec.

“I’m not human, that’s why,” whispered Magnus and sighed. “And this is my birthday present for you,” he added with a smile. “You wanted me to come to life, didn’t you?”

When the other said that, Alec’s eyes widened and his eyes welled up. There was no one beside him in the room when he said that, so how could a complete stranger know that as well? Alec’s heart was beating fast, his breath laboured and uneven. So that really was him then? He was alive? Right then… he was talking to his ‘doll’? No way… That could only mean one thing really. He was too far gone; the loneliness and depression had brought him to such insanity that he was literally imagining the doll coming alive.

“Magnus,” whispered Alec and ran his finger down the other’s cheek.

“Yes,” he said and smiled, his bright smile causing Alec’s heart to skip a beat.

“So that means that,” said Alec and stopped for a bit. “I’m going crazy?”

“No,” said the other and his face darkened again. “I’m real, you’re not just making this up and-”

Alec shook his head and closed his eyes, placing hands on top of his ears, to block out whatever the other was saying. Alec knew that he needed to be only imagining his doll coming to life; the loneliness had brought him to such insanity. “I’m going insane,” he said and let new tears fall down his face. “You’re not real, I’m crazy. I’m a freak,” added Alec and completely broke down in tears.

“You aren’t a freak, Alec.”

The other’s heart broke when he saw Alec’s reaction; he didn’t want him to think that he was crazy. Throughout the years he had seen everything that Alec had been put through and he knew that the other had suffered enough. He really thought that showing him that they could talk for real, would help. But it didn’t and that killed Magnus. Through the ten years he had gotten attached to the boy as well and he really cared for him, so hurting Alec was the last thing that he wanted.

Without thinking, Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and pulled him closer to him. Alec’s eyes widened in panic and he quickly pushed the man away, but the other was quicker and he pulled him into another warm and tight embrace, desperate to see Alec calming down. The way that the other was struggling and fighting was breaking his heart, but apart from holding Alec tightly in his arms, he didn’t know what to do.

“Leave me alone,” said Alec in between his sobs, still trying to resist the warm embrace, but he was slowly starting to give in. Magnus was just too strong. “I don’t want to be crazy. Please, disappear. Y-you’re just a part of my imagination and if I’ll try hard enough, I will make you disappear. Please, go away.” Alec tried resisting it, but in the end, he gave in; he was too powerless to fight back. When those strong arms were wrapped around him, his body melted right against the other’s. In his arms, he was able to feel safe and comfortable.

Alec’s words hurt like hell; Magnus had heard it all, but by that point, the words of his previous owners didn’t matter. The fact that Alec appeared to be so afraid of him and wanting him to disappear, just made Magnus feel completely useless. “You’re not insane, Alec,” whispered Magnus as the other continued to cry in his arms. “You’re a wonder, beautiful person. You’re fucking perfect, why can’t you see it?”

“You’re lying,” whispered Alec and shook his head, placing hands on top of his ears once again, not wanting to hear that. Those were just lies, they had to be. How could somehow look at him and say all of that? It didn’t make sense. “Stop talking, just stop!” he then added, another loud sob escaping his mouth.

“Shh, calm down, Alec,” whispered Magnus and his words worked like magic, Alec looking up at him, too distracted to continue crying. Too mesmerised to do say something else, Alec stared into Magnus’ eyes and he blinked a few times, feeling himself growing a bit calmer and he frowned when the other leaned closer, kissing the frown between his eyebrows away. “This is just a dream,” whispered Magnus, this time his heart breaking as well. One of his powers was being able to convince people into believing whatever he wanted and it was a power that he hated using, just the thought of using it on Alec killed him, but he had no choice. He knew that if he wouldn’t, Alec would probably throw him away and even though it was a selfish thing to do, he didn’t want to be separated from the young man. “When you’ll wake up, you will just think that all of this is just a dream,” said Magnus, his voice low and soothing, Alec slowly nodding.

Alec’s mind was clouded, not being able to think straight. It seemed that all that he could think of, was Magnus’ voice and even though he didn’t want to listen to him, he couldn’t block out his voice.

“Close your eyes, Alec,” whispered Magnus against Alec’s lips and the other silently nodded. Magnus couldn’t bear to look at Alec like that; he was completely under his control. Alec’s eyes were empty and lifeless, staring somewhere past him. The young man then slowly closed his eyes, feeling himself slowly falling asleep.

Once Magnus saw that Alec had fallen asleep, a sad smile came upon his face and he picked the young man up, carrying him to his bed. He wiped the traces of tears away and sighed as he watched Alec’s sleeping face, removing some of the hair from his forehead. Sadness filled his chest and he bit his lower lip. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m sorry,” he whispered. He himself had a pretty lonely life as well, so he knew how Alec felt. He really thought that he was able to help him, but his plan backfired. “I’ll never do something like that again,” he then added and wrapped his arms around Alec.

Alec woke up the next morning, holding Magnus in his arms. He quickly let the doll from his arms and looked around the room. If he had remembered correctly, he was speaking to Magnus last night? He picked up his doll and without thinking, carried to his usual place. Last night was a dream, it had to be a dream.

“Thank god,” said Alec and turned around. “It was just a dream,” he added and left his room, again completely oblivious of Magnus’ sad expression as the doll was left alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a change, a bit happier and fluffier chapter ^^

During the next few weeks, Alec kind of stayed away from his doll, even though he was sure that remembering that his doll came to life was just a dream. But, he could remember it so vividly that he could’ve had sworn that the other really came to life, but managed to convince himself that he was probably just overthinking again. Though, it would be amazing if what happened was actually true. The way he reacted in his _dream_ was absolutely horrible, but now that he thought about everything over again, if he had the chance to speak to Magnus again, he would react differently. However, he still felt very uneasy around his own doll and didn’t even dare to touch him. But what made him even more uneasy, was the fact that Magnus seemed a lot different from what he remembered. That bright smile that used to be on his face, disappeared. He still had a smile, but Alec could’ve sworn that it was a forced, sad smile. He sighed and shook his head; no that couldn’t be it. He was just imagining things; he wasn’t going completely insane. He just couldn’t!

In was somewhere in the middle of the afternoon and just like always, Alec was spending the day in his room. After that incident on his birthday, he had a long talk with his parents, both of them assuring him that they loved him no matter what. He knew that that was regarded towards the question if he was gay and he felt a bit relieved to see that he had at least his parents’ support. Though that made him feel a bit better, things at school were just getting worse and worse.

Alec was used to the usual bullies; being shoved into his locker, being messed around… that was all pretty normal to the young man. As long as it was only physical bullying, them he was okay; he could just convince himself that his wounds and bruises were going to heal over the time and he could forget it. However, mental bullying was a completely another story. Disgusting words written all over his desk and locker, people leaving threats in his locker… that was new to Alec and he really didn’t know how to handle. He thought that it was going to hurt less than being shoved into the wall, but he was wrong. Words hurt more than punches and he felt far too powerless to do anything about it. He could tell his parents, but then he would just cause them to worry. If he was about to go to the teachers, maybe the bullying would stop for a little while. But Alec knew that that way he wouldn’t be able to stop the bullying completely; the bullying would soon start again and he knew that the bullying would get even worse. His best option? Ignore it and hope that the bullies would soon get tired of picking on him.

Alec slowly got onto his legs and walked to the mirror, observing his reflection in it. He had an already fading bruise under his eyes, which he hid with make up so that his parents weren’t able to notice it. However, when he took off his shirt, the dark purple and blue bruises were covering his arms, back and his upper abdomen. Alec sighed and then touched the mirror, pressing his lips tightly together as he continued to stare at the bruises. They didn’t hurt anymore, but it was still an ugly sight to see and he quickly placed the shirt back on, unable to look at his naked body anymore; he was disgusted.

“Disgusting,” whispered the young man. “I’m disgusting.”

He glanced at Magnus, but quickly looked away. Even though he was dying to, he didn’t want to be talking with his doll again; it was time that he got some real friends for a change. Forcing himself not to look at his only friend, he walked past by him and threw himself onto the bed, squeezing his pillow tightly to his chest and closed his eyes. However, he soon turned to the other side and found himself looking at Magnus again, letting out a small sigh and he then chewed on his lower lip. He sat up, crossed his legs and looked down again.

“It’s a shame that it was only a dream,” whispered Alec. “I would really want to talk to him again,” he added. “If only there was a way, I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.”

He slowly got up onto his legs and walked to Magnus, slowly picking him up and he then carried him to his bed. He sat his doll onto the bed and Alec then lied down next to him, feeling like a child again. He smiled brightly at Magnus, but his smile faded when he saw the sadness in the other’s eyes. Alec really didn’t know it anymore, if he was just making things up or not, so he gently placed the back of his finger against the doll’s cheek and gently started running it up and down.

“Why do you look so sad?” he asked himself and cocked his head to the side. “Are you lonely as well?”

When Alec became aware of the fact that he was again talking to a doll, he shook his head and his soft laughter filled the room; god, he was still such a child. “It’s really pathetic of me to wish for a doll to come to life,” he said to himself and turned around, looking away from Magnus. “Though I really wish that the dream I had would be real. He was so beautiful and-” went on by saying Alec, but was interrupted when he felt someone gently tugging at the back of his shirt. His eyes widened and he almost fell off of his bed when he turned around.

When he turned around, the doll was standing on his legs and was gently holding onto his shirt. Startled, Alec shoved the doll away so hard that it landed on the floor. After that, the young man needed quite a few moments to collect himself. He closed his eyes and tried his best to calm down his racing heart. Once he was calm enough, he slowly came close to the edge of his bed and looked down, the doll laying on the floor completely lifeless. But as he came closer, wanting to pick him up, the doll moved his head and looked away. Alec forced himself not to scream and he got off of his bed, kneeling down next to Magnus. His heart was still racing, his mind completely unable to comprehend what was going on. There was no way that the doll just moved, right? So, then what happened in his dreams, was real? Just maybe…

“H-hey,” whispered Alec. “C-can you say something?”

Nothing, he received no replies. Magnus continued laying there and Alec cursed. He slowly picked him up, much more careful this time and slowly started turning the doll in his hands. “You didn’t get hurt as you fell, right?” asked Alec gently, his face heating up with embarrassment. “C-come on say something, you’re making me look like a crazy person here,” he then added, pretty sure that he had already gone mental by that point.

“I’m sorry,” suddenly came a whisper and Alec almost jumped. Even though Magnus had promised to himself to never show the real him to Alec, he couldn’t just stay still. The past few weeks were absolutely horrible, thinking that he might have hurt Alec in some way. But now that he saw that the other one actually wished to speak to him, he decided to give it another try since the wish was mutual. Alec slowly turned Magnus, so that he was looking at his face and almost dropped the other when he blinked. “I didn’t mean to scare you that night,” came another whisper and Alec’s eyes widened when the doll’s mouth moved as well.

''Holy shit,'' whispered Alec and slowly placed the doll on the floor. Not really knowing what to do or say next, he just sat there next to Magnus in complete silence for quite some amount of time. He glanced at the doll from time to time, just to make sure that he was seeing it correctly.

Magnus stood there without speaking, kind of expecting Alec to freak out again. He was scared, he was scared that he might've frightened his owner to the point that he would maybe want to get rid of him; it wouldn't be the first time anyway. In the past, he had gotten thrown out by many people, just because they learned that he was a living doll. He got attached to all of his previous owners, so it hurt when they would throw him out; the loneliness and hurt were slowly starting to get to him. If Alec would end up abandoning him as well, Magnus was sure that that would be it for him. But that wouldn't happen, right? Alec wasn't like the others.

''So you c-can really talk,'' said Alec and looked at the doll, which was looking away from him. Magnus closed his eyes and firmed fists with his little hands, his head bowing down. He knew what was going to happen. ''And this is for real? This isn't some kind of trick?'' asked Alec and placed a finger on top of Magnus' head. ''You came to life for me?''

''Kind of,'' whispered the doll and sighed.

''This is fucking crazy,'' said Alec under his breath, Magnus' chest tightening and he finally turned around, looking up at his owner. He looked Alec right into his eyes, searching for any signs of rejection or fear, but he didn't find anything like that. Instead, he was welcomed by Alec's bright smile, tears welling up in the young man's eyes.

Alec didn’t know what to feel at that exact moment. Part of him was still freaked out by the whole thing and his mind was yelling at him that his loneliness had driven him to such insanity that he started to imagine that Magnus was really alive. On the other hand, he didn’t want to listen to his rational thoughts; the thought of Magnus really coming alive for him was almost too good to be true and he decided to believe that truth, even though it was a crazy thing to do. His chest felt far too tight; his heart was beating like crazy and he gently gripped the fabric of his own shirt, happiness slowly overflowing throughout his body. He had dreamed about something like that ever since he was young; he had wished to speak with Magnus and now he finally had the chance to do so. He was finally going to have someone.

Alec let his head fall down, allowing the tears of happiness and relief to completely wet his face and a muffled sob left his mouth. Magnus interpreted Alec’s reaction incorrectly and he quickly took a step back. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he repeated his words from earlier. “L-look if this is too much for you to handle, I can go back to being just a normal doll,” he added, even though it killed him to say that. “Just don’t throw me away.”

Alec shook his head, letting Magnus know that that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t afraid, he was just so happy that the only thing he could do was to cry. “That’s not it,” he said and wiped the tears away. “I’m just so happy.”

“H-happy?” stuttered out Magnus and blinked a few times. That was the first for him; someone was actually glad he was really alive? Magnus’ facial expression softened up and a smile came to his face; he knew it, Alec was different from others after all.

Alec nodded and leaned against his bed. “You don’t know how much I wanted for this to happen,” he said. “For so many years, you were my only friend. J-just thinking about speaking with you for real makes me so happy,” added Alec, new tears already forming in his eyes. “I won’t be lonely anymore.”

“I know,” was the reply that Alec received. “I’ve heard you say it many times.”

“What?” asked Alec. “I thought you came alive just now… you know, birthday miracle?”

“Not really. I was able to speak and move throughout the entire time that I was with you, even before we met,” said Magnus and looked up at Alec nervously.

“Why didn’t you let me know sooner?”

“I was afraid,” said Magnus and nervously shifted from one leg to the other. “My past experiences have thought me not to let my ‘secret’ away until I get to know my owner really well. And even that ended up badly every time,” he said. “The people that supposed to love me ended up abandoning me as soon as they’ve learned what I really am. S-so I didn’t want you to end up hating me as well,” he added and made a short pause. “Before meeting you, I was really lonely, but after that… you just became too important to me and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Oh,” said Alec and nodded. Now it finally made sense why he had the feeling that the doll had the mind of his own sometimes; he wasn’t imagining it this whole time. He could tell that Magnus was nervous and scared, so he slowly lifted him up and placed him on top of his bed. The other let out a small yelp when Alec lifted him up, but then relaxed when he found himself on top of Alec’s bed. He slowly sat down and looked back down again. “There’s no way I could abandon you like the others have,” Alec suddenly said and Magnus looked up again.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” said the young man. “You were with me these past ten years, so of course there’s no way I could just abandon you. You mean way too much to me,” he then added and smiled. “Thanks to you I was able to get through a lot of hard things.” Alec’s smile then transformed into a sad one and he then sighed.

Magnus nodded in agreement; it was true, he had seen Alec’s up and downs so it wasn’t really a surprise when he heard that the other grew attached to him. It was the same for him as well. Happy, Magnus placed his hands together in his lap and looked down, hiding his smile in front of Alec. Alec let out another happy sigh and scooted closer to his bed, observing his doll, who was now looking down into his lap. Chuckling, he slowly extended out his hand and placed a finger under Magnus’ chin, lifting his face up. Alec’s eyes widened when he saw the bright smile on the other’s face, his heartbeat raising and his cheeks coloured themselves into bright pink colour.

“You’re surprisingly cute when you blush, you know that?” suddenly commented Magnus and Alec frowned.

“Of course I am,” said the young man and rolled his eyes.

“You are. You should learn how to take a compliment… once in a while,” added the other one and crawled closer to the edge of Alec’s bed, placing his entire palm against his cheek. Alec’s eyes closed on their own at the touch and he leaned a bit closer to him, taking in a deep breath. He continued caressing Alec’s cheek for a few more moments and then smiled when he saw that Alec looked completely calm. He was glad about that, which was what he was wishing to do for a long time.

“This feels nice,” muttered Alec, feeling Magnus’ small palm travelling all over his face and he chuckled when he felt the other’s fingers against his lips, parting them just a little bit. He then slowly opened his eyes and exhaled deeply.

“I’m glad,” said Magnus and sat back down. “It killed me to see you going through all of that on your own,” he said. “I just wanted to hug you and tell you that everything was going to be alright. That night… on your birthday… you were crying so much and it hurt too much to just watch you cry like that. I wanted to make you feel better, but I ended up making the whole situation worse.”

“No, it’s fine. I freaked out way too much,” said Alec. “So you can change sizes then?”

“Yeah, I can take a human form as well,” said Magnus and straightened himself up. “Although, I prefer staying like this. If I turn into a human, people freak out way too much when they see me,” he said. “I guess my human form is creepy or something like that.”

“That’s a lie,” said Alec quickly and then bit onto his lower lip, his face heating up once again when he saw Magnus’ curious eyes on him. “I-I mean I didn’t think you were creepy when I saw you that night,” stuttered Alec and looked down. “I thought that you were beautiful. I-I mean, even now you’re beautiful. B-but in your human form you were stunning and…” started explaining the young man, but his voice trailed off in the end.

“You thought that I was beautiful?” asked Magnus, utterly speechless.

“Y-yeah,” said Alec and took in a deep breath. “S-so if you want to change size, go ahead.”

“I’m not going to do that,” said the other. “You’ll just get freaked out again and-”

“I won’t,” said Alec, determined. He could tell that the other was thinking really hard about it, so he gave him another warm smile and lifted his little face once again. He also wanted to see Magnus in his human form again, he was even more beautiful than the doll. Just thinking about it sent adrenaline rushing through his veins and he nodded, wanting to show Magnus how sure he was of it. “I promise.”

Still not convinced, Magnus closed his eyes for a second or two and then gently held Alec’s finger with his own palm, softly pushing it away from his face. The nervousness started kicking in again, but he felt a bit better when he saw the smile on Alec’s face. In the end, he decided that it was alright to change his form; it was Alec’s wish after all and there was no way that he could deny Alec anything.

“Okay,” he said in the end and nodded, sitting back down onto the bed.

Not knowing what to expect, Alec backed a little bit and patiently waited. Magnus nodded to himself and then closed his eyes, his body starting to tingle when he began changing his form. In a few seconds, he had already changed and instead of a doll, there was a young man sitting on Alec’s bed. Alec’s eyes were wide open as he continued staring at the other, his eyes travelling up and down, completely fascinated with what he saw. Just as he remembered, the other man was absolutely stunning; he was the most beautiful creature that Alec had ever laid his eyes upon. However, Magnus couldn’t take Alec’s silence well and he nervously looked at him.

“Say something,” whispered Magnus.

“You’re beautiful,” blurted out Alec and got up, sitting on the bed, next to Magnus. He brought his trembling fingers to the other’s face and looked up, swallowing thickly, feeling his heart hammering against his rib cage. “Can I touch you?” he then asked without even thinking and the only thing Magnus could really do was to nod. Alec took in a deep breath and placed the back of his finger against Magnus’ cheek, caressing the firm and cold skin. His skin was just as cold as he remembered it to be. However, that didn’t matter… he was too fascinated to care about that.

Magnus closed his eyes when Alec ran his fingers down his face, from his forehead, down to his eyelids, nose, stopping on his lips. Just like the doll, Magnus was wearing black make up, which made his whole appearance even more beautiful. Alec then reached up again, slowly and carefully burying his fingers into Magnus’ black hair, gasping at the touch; his hair was so soft. “God,” whispered Alec and looked into Magnus’ eyes. “How can you be real?”

Magnus sat completely still and allowed Alec to do as he pleased. The way that Alec was looking at him during that time made his heart skip a beat; his eyes were so full of love and affection that it made it really hard to breath and he had to remind himself to stop staring at the young man so much. At the moment when Magnus touched Alec as well was when Alec realised it; he had already fallen for him. Love at first sight? It sounded so childish and yet so tempting at the same time.

“So you’re really okay with this?” Magnus suddenly asked, waking up Alec from his day dreaming.

“With what?” asked Alec, confused.

Magnus chuckled and then pulled away a little bit. “You’re such an airhead,” he said and shook his head, ruffling Alec’s hair as he continued to laugh. “With me, you idiot.”

“Oh… uh, yeah of course… you’re perfect, I mean-”

“Great,” said Magnus, laughing as he laid back against the bed, grabbing Alec’s wrist and he dragged him down with him. Alec pressed his lips together as Magnus continued to laugh; his laughter really was… special, was the word that described it the most.

“So basically,” started Alec after a while and turned onto his side. “You’re a creep.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, think about it,” started Alec, a devious smile coming on his lips. “You were spying on me throughout the entire time. Me, an innocent and pure child that-”

“It could be debatable how innocent you really are,” teased Magnus back, satisfied with himself that he was able to shut up Alec. As he said that, Alec closed his mouth and frowned. At first he didn’t really get it, but then it hit him. Magnus was there beside him constantly. All the time. Even when he-

“Oh god, kill me,” whispered Alec, making Magnus burst into laughter again when he saw how red Alec’s face was.

“That’s right,” said Magnus and narrowed his eyes. “I’ve seen and heard _everything_ ,” he added and then wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist, pulling him closer. At that both of them started laughing out loud.

It was a while since Alec had laughed like that and Magnus was very well aware of that, so he was glad that he was able to make the other feel better. After they stopped laughing, a smile remained on Alec’s face and he sighed happily. He scooted closer to Magnus and placed his head on top of his chest, looking up at him. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not.”

Magnus smiled when he saw Alec closing his eyes and he wrapped one of his arms around him, while the other one went into Alec’s hair, lazily caressing it. He could tell that Alec’s heart was beating hard and he chuckled at that, but made no comment about it. After a while, Alec’s breathing had gotten a lot slower.

“I’m so happy,” said Alec and yawned. He was feeling tired, a lot had happened that day. And yet, he was so, so happy. “Thank you for making my wish come true.”

That night, Alec slept with a smile on his face, the usual loneliness finally disappearing.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, where the fuck you think you’re going, freak?” asked a young man, hurrying towards Alec, who was trying his best to collect his things into his bag and leave. However, his fellow classmate, Sebastian and his friend, Jace, were making things kind of impossible for him. The duo was quite known in the school and not in the good way; all of the students knew not to mess with them, because the two of them would strike back twice as much if not more. They had to be one of the most annoying and brutal bullies at school and now that they had trapped Alec into the classroom, meant nothing good.

They were the only one there; the school had ended a few hours ago, so that meant that most of the teachers and other students had already left the building. Alec staid a few extra hours there, because he wanted to catch up on his studying, since he was falling behind the rest of the class. Usually he felt too down to study, but lately his mood had been a lot better… all thanks to Magnus. Because he didn’t want to get in trouble again, Alec decided that the best thing for him to do was just to ignore the duo; maybe then they would just ignore him? He flinched when he saw Jace coming closer, so he quickly looked down and placed the last text book into his bag. Just as he tried to run away, Jace grabbed his shoulder and stopped him from leaving.

“Where are you going?” asked Sebastian and sat down, placing his feet onto the desk, an amused smirk on his face. “We’re not done with you yet.”

"I-I’m sorry! Please, Sebastian, leave me alone, just this once..."

“Give me a reason why, why should I leave you alone?” he then scoffed and stood up, walking closer to him. “Who gave you the permission to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do?” snapped Sebastian, took Alec’s bag into his hands and then turned it upside down, the books falling onto the floor. “You’re disgusting, freaks like you should be kept locked up. The world would be better off without you around.”

Alec flinched when the bag was snagged from his hands and watched the books fall onto the floor. His heart became heavy and he looked down, too scared to look anywhere else. Jace’s grip on his shoulder became firmer and he dug his fingernails deep into his palm in order not to show any kind sings of pain; he knew that Sebastian would enjoy himself to see him in pain and he didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. He knew that Sebastian must’ve been pissed because he had just talked back to him and a knot formed in his stomach, because he knew that things weren’t going to end up pretty.

“I-I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” muttered Alec and took a step back, but didn’t make it far, because he bumped into Jace, who finally let go of him and them stepped behind Sebastian, waiting for the next order. “I-if you let me go, I won’t tell the teachers that you bullied me again.”

When Sebastian noticed that the other one still wouldn't look straight up at him, he grit his teeth and was determined to make Alec look at him. He moved quickly, taking a handful of his hair and pulled it hard, forcing him to look up and at the same time he made sure that he caused him pain as well. "I don't give a fuck if you tell the others; do you think they would actually care? Do you know how many people hate you on this school? They all talk behind your back. How does knowing that nobody cares for you feel like?"

Alec yelped when the other snagged a handful of his hair and forced him to look up. He stumbled backwards and had to catch himself on the desk behind him again, half closing his eyes from the pain. There wasn't much he could do, and as far as he knew it, Sebastian was right. "S-stop, please, that hurts!" He winced and clenched his teeth hard. "Sebastian, p-please, you're hurting me..!"

“I don’t care,” spat Sebastian and then turned his head, signing Jace to come closer. Alec’s heart started beating like crazy when he saw the other teen coming closer as well and he shut his eyes tightly. What now? Were they both going to beat him up? “We need to teach him a lesson, he needs to show more respect to us, don’t you agree Jace?”

“Yeah,” replied the other one and firmed a fist with his hand.

“I’ll take care of that this time,” said Sebastian. “You go out and keep a watch; just in case if anyone is still here. If anyone sees this, I’m going to get expelled for sure.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep guard. You just do what’s necessary,” replied Jace and smirked, before finally stepping outside of the classroom.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes when they were left alone, amused when he saw that the other one already looked nervous; he couldn’t wait to completely make whatever was left of his sanity crumble under his touch. He then walked closer to him, grabbed him by wrist and dragged him to the wall. He then pushed Alec against the wall, trapping him with his own body, so that he wouldn’t escape him. “Now then, how should I punish you this time?”

It was quiet for a minute as Alec waited for the other to do something. He didn't have to wait long, as he was dragged to wall. He gasped as he was pinned to the cold wall, his head landing against it with a loud bang. He swallowed thickly and looked up at Sebastian. Trapped, he pressed his hands to the wall at his sides and gasped softly as his shirt collar was grabbed, starting to struggle. "Please don't hurt me, please.. I'm sorry I talked back, I.. I won't do it again, I promise.." he muttered, his voice trembling.

 “No, no, no… I can’t just let you go. You can promise me many things, but unless I give you a proper beating, you won’t learn anything.” He folded his hand into a fist and then rammed it into Alec’s stomach, while still holding his shirt with his other hand. As he did that, adrenaline started spreading through his body and he almost laughed. “Man that felt good,” he muttered, preparing himself for his next strike.

As Alec saw the slight hesitation in Sebastian's eyes, he thought that maybe there was some slight chance that he'd actually let him go. That hope was quickly crushed as he was almost lifted off the ground from the force of being hit against the wall. "I'll learn, I'll learn, jus-" He was cut off by sudden pain in his gut. The automatic response was to cough and curl up, holding his stomach, but he couldn't fall since the other was still gripping his shirt. His head dropped and he tried to protect himself.

Sebastian pushed his lips together and then the corners of his lips curled up into a satisfied smile. He could almost laugh at the other one’s poor attempt to protect himself from his punches and he then roughly grabbed Alec’s hair, forcing him to look back at him. “Don’t look away, I want to see your face when you’re in pain.”

Alec’s eyes widened when Sebastian said that and he then let out another scream of pain when his hair was being pulled by the other. He closed his eyes tightly as if he that was going to mild the pain of the next punch. Sebastian smirked and then punched again, this time punching Alec’s face hard. The young man bit the insides of his cheeks, trying his best not to cry out for help. The punch was so forceful that it made him lose his balance and he then fell onto the floor, feeling something hot running down his face. His eyes widened in shock when he realised that Sebastian made him bleed and he grit his teeth, tears forming in his eyes as he was picking himself off the ground. He didn’t get it; what did he do to the other? Why did he have to bully him all the time?

Alec then looked to Sebastian, who seemed to be busy with looking at his own hand, which hurt as well and saw that as a chance to run away. Just as he was about to run away, Sebastian was right there beside him, pinning him against the wall. He then stepped next to him and grabbed Alec’s shirt with his left hand and fingers of his right hand wrapped around his neck "If you try to fucking run away again, I’ll kill you!"

 Fear showed in Alec's eyes when he heard the tone in Sebastian's voice. He stumbled as he felt himself being dragged to his feet faster than he would have liked, and his immediate reaction was to try and break away. The other was stronger than him by quite a lot, so sadly it was pointless. "L-let go of me! Please," he begged, tripping over his own feet as he was shoved against the wall. Before he could react, there was a hand against his throat. “Y-you're choking me-" He grabbed the other's wrist and struggled to get away, his eyes wide with fear... for a second he thought that Sebastian might actually be able to kill him.

“Sebastian, let’s get out of here, someone’s coming,” suddenly said Jace and Sebastian quickly released Alec and left the classroom as quickly as possible. Weight lifted off of Alec’s chest when he felt the grip on his neck loosen. He coughed and took a deep breath, rubbing at his throat with one hand.

He then slowly slid down the wall and sat onto the floor, his whole body still trembling with fear. When he touched his nose again, he was glad to see that the bleeding finally stopped, but there was no way that he could return back home looking like that. His clothes were all bloody, he was a mess. Because of this, Alec slowly dragged his body to the boy’s bathroom and cleaned himself up there as best as he could. He then changed his clothes into his clothes for PE. Hurt crawled into his heart as he looked himself in the mirror, fixing his hair. He looked horrible; he was completely pale, bruises already forming on his face and around his neck.

Tears gathered in his eyes again, but he managed to hold them back that time. He touched the mirror, staring at his own reflection staring back at him. He wasn’t surprised anymore that Sebastian and the others picked on him so much; he was disgusting, so he couldn’t really blame them. Hatred towards himself flashed in his eyes and he spat onto the mirror. “Fucking disgusting.”

* * *

 

Alec walked straight into his room as soon as he came back home, telling his parents that he was busy with school work. He knew that that way they wouldn’t bother him with annoying questions. He locked himself into his room and threw his bag into the wall, a loud thump filling the room, books falling from the bag once again. Devastated, Alec walked to his desk and started throwing all of the items on it on the floor or against the wall. By that point, he had completely shut off his rational way of thinking. His chest hurt so much that he could barely breathe and all that he wanted to do was to scream; but nothing came out of his mouth. He then grabbed a vase and threw it against the wall with full force, the vase shattering into pieces.

“Shit,” he cursed and walked to the mess, kneeling down and grit his teeth as he observed the broken pieces of glass. Without thinking, he reached down and started picking up the broken pieces, gasping when he felt a sudden sharp pain on his palm. His eyes widened when he saw blood dripping onto the floor and it only hit him then that he must’ve cut himself on the broken glass. “Fuck this,” he cursed and got up, surprised to see Magnus suddenly kneeling down next to him.

For the first few moments, Magnus just sat on Alec’s bed in complete silence and allowed the other to vent out his frustrations. He didn’t know what exactly was wrong, but his past experiences had taught him to allow Alec to calm down a little bit on his own before approaching him. And despite all of that, Magnus felt uneasy at heart as he continued to observe Alec throwing things off of his desk and he pressed his lips together; something must’ve happened in school. It wasn’t a rare thing for Alec to come back home from school feeling horrible. Were the usual bullies this time the reason behind Alec’s bad mood? He continued to observe Alec for a few more moments or so, until he heard Alec letting out a moan of discomfort and he was kneeling next to him in a blink of an eye, his eyes widening when he saw that Alec was bleeding from his hand.

“You’re bleeding,” said Magnus with his usual soft voice and gently touched Alec’s wrist, to take a closer look of his hand, but the other one shoved him away before he could touch him. Alec didn’t want Magnus to see him in that state, especially not with bruises all over his face. He looked down, allowing his hair to fall over his face and hide the bruises just a little bit. However, Magnus knew the other teen far too well, to not know what was going on. “Show me your hand,” he demanded, but the only response that he received from Alec was shaking of his head. “For god’s sake… don’t be so stubborn and-”

“Leave me alone!” snapped Alec and brought his knees up to his chin, completely ignoring the fact that the blood was dripping all over the floor and then hugged his own body. “Can’t you see that I just want to be alone?”

Alec’s harsh tone of voice surprised Magnus and he stayed quiet for the next few moments; it wasn’t like Alec to snap at him like that. Usually, he was the only one that Alec came to talk when something happened. But now, Alec denied him as well and that hurt Magnus’ feelings; he didn’t even get it what he did wrong to be treated that way by Alec. Magnus grit his teeth and then grabbed Alec’s wrist roughly, yanking his hand up to him. In the process, Alec looked up as well, leaving Magnus completely speechless when he saw his face.

“Who did this to you?” asked Magnus and reached with his hand forward to touch Alec’s face, but he stopped when he saw how hard Alec flinched as he reached towards him, he stopped and sat back down onto the floor and removed his hands from the teen, getting onto his legs and he then sighed as he made his way to the bed, sitting back on it. He didn’t mean to frighten Alec, so his best option was to just hold a distance from the other.

Surprised that Magnus suddenly released him, Alec looked up and watched how Magnus went to his bed. Alec’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach. It was true that he told Magnus that he wanted to be alone previously, but Magnus’ reaction still surprised him. When he realised that the other looked away, Alec bit his lower lip and sighed. Magnus couldn’t even bare to look at him because he was disgusting, right? That realisation hurt like hell and even though he knew that Magnus probably didn’t think of him like that, he just couldn’t get rid of that feeling and it killed him. He grit his teeth and cursed.

“Y-you can’t even look at me?” asked Alec with a small voice and let out a sad laughter, filled with bitterness and hurt. “Well, it doesn’t surprise me, really. I mean, I can’t blame you. After all, I am a freak and-”

“That’s not true,” said Magnus, interrupting the young man, shaking his head. Magnus really couldn’t understand Alec at times; did he really think that he was as horrible as those bullies? Why would Alec still doubt in him? “You said that you wanted to be alone, so I figured that my presence was annoying you.”

“N-no, I’m sorry,” whispered Alec, realising his mistake only then.

“Then come here,” said Magnus, his voice gentle and signed Alec to come to him. The other didn’t hesitate for one bit and was on his legs in a second, sitting next to Magnus in the next moment. His heart started beating like crazy when Magnus’ cold fingers came in contact with his wrist and this time he didn’t try to struggle, allowing the other to do as he pleased. Magnus examined the wound on Alec’s palm and was glad to see that it stopped bleeding. “Thank god, it isn’t a deep cut,” said Magnus, feeling relieved. Alec didn’t dare to look up, knowing that his face was far too red. He gripped his shorts with his other hand and took in a deep breath as Magnus’ fingers gently caressed the back of his palm. Wanting to make sure, Magnus stood up, wanting to go to Alec’s bathroom for the first aid kit. However, as soon as he stood up, Alec stopped him from leaving by grabbing his wrist.

“Don’t go,” said Alec with a small voice.

“I’ll be back in a second. I just need to get the first aid kit from-”

“Stay,” said Alec firmly, his grip around Magnus’ wrist tightening. “Please.”

Alec sounded so broken when he said that and in the end, Magnus just couldn’t leave him alone. He nodded and sat back down. The next few moments passed by in complete silence, Magnus wondering if he should say something, but he didn’t know what, so he decided to stay quiet. He looked at Alec and it looked like he wanted to say something, so Magnus decided to give him time. He wanted Alec to be comfortable around him, so he gave him his time. After some time, Alec looked up as well and took in a deep breath before speaking.

“I don’t want to be a freak anymore,” said Alec. “I just want to fit in with the others, but whenever I try to do so, I fail. I just don’t fit the picture, I’m not what they want me to be. I don’t get it, I try so hard, yet I remain an outcast,” he went on by saying and then stopped talking. “Wherever I go, people laugh at me and make fun of me, I’m so fucking sick of that.”

Saying all of that out loud made the pain in Alec’s chest even worse. His body started trembling as he fought back the tears; he was so sick of crying. He was a weak person, he knew that. He felt completely pathetic, he knew that whatever Sebastian and the others were saying shouldn’t get to him anymore, he was old enough. And yet, there he was, feeling completely broken about it. Magnus sighed and swallowed thickly, wanting to yell at Alec and tell him that he shouldn’t listen to those people. They were stupid, complete idiots if they couldn’t see what a great person Alec was.

“You aren’t a freak, Alec,” whispered and gently placed his hand over his owner’s one, making Alec let out a hitched breath. At the touch, Alec’s eyes widened, feeling adrenaline spreading through his body and he cursed. His body heated up, his heart racing and he closed his eyes, not wanting to feel like that about Magnus. He knew that Magnus was only trying to help him, yet he was having these impure feelings for the other. He was the worst.

_Disgusting_

_Filthy_

_Dirty_

“I-if you really knew me, you wouldn’t be saying that,” whispered Alec. “I’m disgusting and-”

“Stop it,” snapped Magnus, who had it enough. He then turned to Alec, hugged his chin with his fingers and forced him to look up at him. Even so, Alec looked away and avoided making eye contact with Magnus. “Stop saying that, why can’t you see how amazing you are?” he then asked him, feeling frustrated. He then placed a finger onto Alec’s bruised cheek, careful to be gentle enough. There were bruises all over his face and Magnus cursed when he saw bruises around Alec’s neck as well. “I’m going to make sure that whoever did this to you is going to pay.”

Alec flinched when Magnus’ cold finger came in contact with his cheek, his eyes widening when he heard Magnus say all of that. He gulped, finally allowing himself to look into the other’s eyes, seeing worry and anger in them. That made Alec’s heart skip a beat and he chewed on his lower lip; only then he could tell how worried Magnus actually was about him. Since the feeling of someone being so worried about him was new to Alec, he didn’t know how to react. So, he just stayed quiet and continued to stare at the other one, whose fingers were still travelling all over his face.

“Jesus,” whispered Magnus and gently placed a finger onto Alec’s neck and gently caressed the exposed skin there. His heart burned with anger and hatred, there was no way that he was going to let the people that hurt Alec get away with it. He leaned closer to the teen and then removed some of the hair from his forehead, since they were in the way. As he did that, Alec grabbed the bed sheets and shut his eyes tightly, very conscious of his racing heart. “Does it hurt?” he then asked and his facial expression softened up a little bit when Alec shook his head. He was happy to see that Alec wasn’t feeling any pain, but that still didn’t make the whole situation any better.

It killed him knowing that Alec thought that the others were right; no matter how hard he tried to show him that he was a wonderful human being through these two weeks, the other still wouldn’t believe him. Yet, he knew that he was able to help Alec, just a little bit. However, everything from the past two weeks had been completely crushed and wiped away in a minute. Just as Alec started smiling more, something like that had to happen. Magnus didn’t get it, what did Alec do to deserve something like that? Determined to make Alec feel better, he gently hugged his face and lifted it a little bit, Alec slowly opening his eyes at the touch.

“You’re wonderful, amazing… I’ll keep saying that until you believe it yourself,” whispered Magnus and scooted closer to Alec, still holding his face. Surprised to see him so close, Alec’s body went completely numb and the only thing he could do was to sit completely still and wait for Magnus’ next move. “You’re beautiful, Alec,” breathed out Magnus and gently pressed his forehead against Alec’s. “Do you think I would lie to you?”

“I-I” stammered Alec, but then stopped. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t focus since Magnus was so close to him. He felt himself slowly slipping away, just like he always did when he was with Magnus; when he was completely alone with him, he felt happy. They were in their little bubble, completely isolated from other people and worries. When Magnus said all of that about him, he could actually believe it.

A sad smile appeared on Magnus’ face and he pulled back a little, letting one of his hands to fall on Alec’s neck. Without thinking, Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec’s forehead, gently and slowly pulled away, smiling when he saw the blush dusted all over Alec’s face. He was happy with that reaction, which meant that Alec was slowly coming back to his usual self. “Say it,” he whispered. “Say that you’re beautiful.”

Being kissed by Magnus for the first time, Alec was surprised by the softness of his cold lips. He couldn’t even pay attention to whatever the other was saying, all of his senses were focused on that little and quick kiss, wanting to be kissed properly by the other. “What?” he asked, his face heating up when he noticed a small smile on Magnus’ face; Alec loved that smile more than everything.

“Come on, you’ve heard me. Tell me that you’re beautiful.”

“I’m not,” said Alec and looked down.

“You are,” said Magnus firmly and lifted Alec’s face once again. He then kissed Alec’s temple, the tip of his nose and then gave his cheek one final kiss. “Say it.”

“So soft,” heard himself Alec when he felt those lips travelling all over his face. Even though he didn’t believe Magnus, he just couldn’t say no to those eyes, which were begging him to say it. “I’m… beautiful?” he then whispered in the end, his heart melting when he saw Magnus’ bright smile.

“That’s it,” said the other and kissed Alec’s temple again.

Alec’s mind was completely hazed by that point and he wasn’t thinking straight anymore. Magnus tilted his head to the side when he saw Alec leaning in, his eyes widening as Alec’s eyes started closing. Alec’s eyelids fluttered shut, his whole body tinging when he could feel the other’s breath again his own lips. Alec’s mind was yelling at him to stop, but he ignored and closed the remaining distance between them by pressing his lips on top of Magnus’. Alec was sure that he was going to melt at that right spot, Magnus’ lips felt so perfect against his and he wanted more. Because of this, he parted his lips once again and applied a bit more pressure to the kiss, bringing the other closer to him, Alec’s fingers burying into Magnus’ soft hair.

Magnus was completely startled by the kiss, it caught him completely off guard. However, that didn’t mean that he hated the kiss. In reality, he had thought about kissing Alec for years and now that it finally happened, his body froze and he sat there completely still as the teen’s lips met up with his in another kiss, which lasted slightly longer. Feeling devastated that Magnus wouldn’t return him the kiss, Alec tried again and again… but Magnus wouldn’t move. And then the reality hit Alec, chills going up his spine and he quickly released the other, placing a hand over his lips and he quickly wiped the kiss away. Magnus hated the kiss, didn’t he?

“What did I do?” he whispered to himself, but loud enough for Magnus to hear him.

Alec felt completely disgusted with himself, he couldn’t believe that he had just done _that_. He didn’t intend to show his dirty feelings that he had for the other and he was angry that he couldn’t have a better self-control. Thinking that Magnus was disgusted by the kiss, he just wanted to leave the room as soon as possible, going straight to the bathroom. Magnus stood up when Alec suddenly started walking against his bathroom. He didn’t get it why the other one broke their kiss so fast; Magnus quite liked the kiss.

“Alec, where are you going?”

He received no verbal reaction. The only thing that he received in response was a slam of the door, followed by the clicking sound of the key. When Alec found himself alone in his bathroom, he sat down and hid his face into his palms.

“Why the hell did I have to do this?”

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Alec, you’ll need to come out of the bathroom at some point!” said Magnus with much louder voice than usual, since he was slowly getting tired of Alec’s stubbornness. He didn’t really get it why the other one ran away in the first place. Since the first day that Alec got to be his owner, Magnus could sense how deeply the boy cared for him. Over the years that affection grew deeper and soon it transformed into another feeling, a romantic one… deep affection and love. Alec’s love for him was able to make Magnus stronger; he needed his owner’s love to be strong and he felt stronger than ever when he was with Alec. If the other one didn’t love him, then he wouldn’t be able to transform into human in the first place! That kind of thing required Magnus quite a fair amount of power and thanks to Alec, he was able to get it.

“I want to be alone,” said Alec, who was still sitting on the tiled floor, leaned against the floor. He could hear that the other one was leaning against the door as well, letting out a sigh and he shook his head, even though there wasn’t anyone to see him. Alec didn’t want to face Magnus, he was far too scared to do that; he didn’t want to see disgust in Magnus’ eyes. God, he was so stupid. Why did he have to kiss the other one? It would be much easier if he just kept his self-control and then… he wouldn’t ruin their friendship. What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to face Magnus? He didn’t want to lose the other one, he really didn’t. But at the same time…

“Why are you so fucking stubborn?” snapped Magnus and banged against the door, gritting his jaw. The loud bang against the door startled Alec and he then moved across the room, sitting far away from the door. It wasn’t like Magnus to be so aggressive and Alec’s eyes widened… he caused this, didn’t he? It was his own fault; if it wasn’t for him and his foul feelings for Magnus then- “Come out, Alec. I am warning you, don’t make me angry,” carried on Magnus, who was slowly losing his patience.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Alec and lowered his head, his voice small. When Magnus heard him, his anger disappeared into a thin air and he calmed down, sitting down as well, gently placing his hand against the door. “I’m so sorry for everything,” added the teen and a frown of confusion formed between Magnus’ eyebrows. “C-can you just please leave me alone?” said Alec and then stopped talking for a few moments.

Magnus sighed, but in the end decided to give it a rest; he didn’t want to be too pushy and make Alec feel uncomfortable about everything. Even though he wanted to talk, he walked away, climbed on top of Alec’s bed and transformed back into his usual doll form, laying down and stopped moved, giving Alec his time to think things.

Alec, on the other hand, let out a small sigh of relief when he heard that Magnus finally let it go and walked away. Still, he didn’t come out of the bathroom and he buried his face into his palms, his heart hurting at the thought that he had just pushed Magnus away. What did the other one think? Was he angry that he had just pushed him away? Alec gritted his teeth and then leaned his head back against the tiled wall, his head landing against it with a loud bang and he let out a small moan of discomfort. After a while, he got onto his legs, looking himself in the mirror once again, but soon adverted his gaze.

Magnus said that he was beautiful, but all that Alec could see was a freak staring back at him as he looked up again. He firmed fist with his hand and pushed his lips together. As he closed his eyes, the scene of him kissing Magnus flashed in front of his eyes and he quickly opened his eyes again, gently skimming his fingers over his bottom lip, slowly parting his mouth open as he could still feel the softness of the other’s lips against his own. The kiss felt so, so perfect to Alec and yet he felt sick down to his stomach as he continued to think about it.

Magnus probably hated the kiss. He didn’t kiss him back, when he looked at him right after the kiss, his eyes were wide open, probably filled with disgust and anger. Alec’s chest tightened and he cursed; he had almost believed Magnus earlier when he called him beautiful, but he saw that it was all just a lie… a horrible one. Not only that Magnus was a guy, he wasn’t even a human. Just how fucked up was he to think that he was actually in love with him? All that he wanted was to get rid of his sick feelings for the other, but he couldn’t do anything no matter how much he wanted it to happen.

“I just want to be normal,” said Alec with a small voice and then swallowed thickly. “Why can’t I be normal? Why do I have to feel these sick and gross feelings? For fuck’s sake…” he muttered, his lower lip trembling. “Why can’t I be normal?!” he yelled out again and then broke down in tears, Magnus’ heart breaking as he could hear Alec’s broken cries from the bathroom, but did nothing to stop them. He covered his ears, closed his eyes and waited for Alec to calm down on his own.

* * *

 

**A month later**

Alec was in school, sitting in his usual spot and was waiting for the first class of the day to start. He was early, as usual, so not many students were in a classroom. He was supporting his head on his shoulder and he yawned, feeling completely exhausted. He felt both emotionally and physically drained. He hadn’t been able to catch a proper sleep for weeks now and he was really walking on thin ice… he was about to break down at any minute. The reason for that? Magnus completely ignoring him. Since _that_ day, the other one hadn’t spoken to him at all. Alec tried to convince him to talk to him, but the other one wouldn’t talk or even move. It was as if he went back in time; Magnus was just a lifeless doll and the fact that he wouldn’t speak to him made him feel depressed. He knew that it was his fault; if only he hadn’t kissed him that day.

As he continued to have a monologue with himself, he was interrupted when someone suddenly said next to him, his eyes widening. He had no idea who the person was that sat next to him, but then he remembered the teachers saying that they were going to get a new transferred student. Alec decided to ignore him, since he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, so he just turned his back to him and leaned down, pretending to be reading a book. However, his wish to be ignored back, wasn’t going according to plan, because the other one suddenly spoke to him.

“That’s rude,” commented the guy and frowned. Alec just sighed and slowly lifted his head, looking at the other, who was still frowning. “I know that you were just pretending to be reading the book. If my presence is bother you, just say so.”

Alec sighed and then shook his head, feeling stupid. He knew that he was being rude to the other, so he apologised. “Ah, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly and then cleared his throat, his face heating up because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t like to talk to people that he didn’t know, so he just looked down and sighed.

“Mind if I sit here?” asked the other teen and Alec quickly shook his head. “Good,” he then went on by saying and placed his bag onto the floor, moving closer to Alec. “I’m new here, so sorry if I seem a bit pushy. I don’t know anyone and you looked like the easiest person to talk to,” he then went on by saying and Alec’s eyes widened. “My name is Simon, by the way,” he then said and extended his hand out to Alec.

“Nice to meet you,” said Alec awkwardly and shook the other’s hand. “I’m Alec,” he then said and released Simon’s hand, looking down into his book again.

“So what are you reading?” asked Simon and smiled.

Alec didn’t give him a verbal reply, but he did show him the book that he was reading and he could have sworn that Simon’s eyes lit up when he saw the title of the book. Alec then shyly pulled the book closer to himself and gave him an awkward smile, not really knowing how to react. Did Simon like the book as well?

“Oh I haven’t read this one yet,” said Simon, the excitement in his voice obvious to Alec. “I am a very big fan of this writer thought,” he then explained when he saw confusion on Alec’s face and chuckled. “I haven’t met anyone who would like this writer as well.”

“Oh,” said Alec and his eyes widened. When he heard that someone had the same interest as him, his whole face brightened and after a long time, he smiled. He had to bit his lower lip to prevent himself from smiling too wide. He then ran his tongue over his lower lip and cleared his throat. “Yes, I like this writer as well, she’s my favourite actually.”

“Same,” replied Simon and then dragged his chair closer to Alec. “So…”

After that, the two of them stroke a conversation about their favourite writer and other interests. Alec had learned many new things about Simon that day and realised that the two of them had a lot of similar interests. For a change, Alec didn’t feel completely alone that day in school and for the first time in a long time, had a feeling that he actually made a new friend.

* * *

 

Later that day, Alec came back home with a smile on his face. His smile was bright when he made his way up to his room and he then threw himself on his bed, taking his phone into his hands immediately as he laid down, his smile widening when he saw that he had a new text from Simon. He had given the other one his number earlier that day and now he was beaming when he saw that Simon was actually interested enough in him to text him. He quickly tapped on the reply button and typed a short text in reply, telling Simon that he was alone and bored, having absolutely nothing to do.

_I know, it’s the same for me. I should start on today’s homework, but I am far too lazy to start._

‘Tell me about it, the professors on this schools are worse than devil. There’s this new movie that I would like to watch, but I have to be home and… study. Ugh, sucks,’ he wrote back in reply and then locked his phone, laid on his side and sighed as he waited for a reply to come. He then buried his face into his pillow and chuckled, happiness overflowing through his body. Simon seemed like a great guy and Alec really felt like that day was a start of a long and beautiful friendship. Suddenly, Alec’s phone buzzed and he immediately grabbed it, reading the new text from Simon.

_Being in high school sucks, I know. But I like this school much better than my old one. At least here, no one bullies me, yet._

Alec got up into sitting position when he read the new text from Simon and he blinked a few times. He was bullied at his old school? But he seemed so… happy and outgoing. Alec pushed his lips together and gripped his phone, feeling his heart beating faster. Should he tell Simon what he was going through? He was going to understand, right? On the other hand, he didn’t want to seem too creepy; they had just met and that was quite a touchy subject to be discussing with someone that you had just met!

‘Bullies are everywhere sadly, even at this school. Trust me, I know,’ was what he came up with and then hugged his pillow as he waited for a reply to come.

_You’re being bullied?_

Alec’s eyes widened when he read that text and he closed his eyes for a split moment, looking around his room, his eyes stopping on Magnus, who was sitting on the shelf, turned away from him. Alec swallowed hard and then looked at his phone again, writing back a reply. ‘Yes. I am being bullied.’

Alec could feel his heart beating faster when he told the other that and he then turned on his side, waiting for his phone to buzz. Apart from Magnus, he had never told anyone that he was being bullied and now there was a person that understood everything he was going through.

_Oh, I am sorry. I know that we have just met, but if you ever need a talk or something like that, just say so, okay? I’d like us to become very good friends._

Alec smiled and sighed as he wrote back a short reply, saying: ‘Thank you. If I ever need a talk, I’ll tell you.’

As he wrote that, he locked his phone and even though a reply came a minute or so later, he didn’t read it immediately. Instead, he stood up and walked to the shelf, on which Magnus was sitting and he sighed, looking down for a split second, before he allowed himself to walk closer to him. His heart became heavier again and he pressed his lips together as he gently caressed the doll’s cheek. A sad smile appeared on his face and he gulped, quickly removed his finger. He knew that the other one must’ve been aware of everything that he was doing, but he still said nothing.

“It’s been a while since we’ve last talked, huh?” whispered Alec and he hesitantly reached for Magnus, slowly picking him up around his waist and he then sat him down onto his lap after he made his way back to his bed and sat down. “I… have so many things to tell you,” he then went on by talking to himself and nervously tapped his leg against the floor. “F-for example,” he started, trying to ignore his stutter. “I think I’ve made a friend today. His name is Simon and just like me he had changed schools. It appears that we have many things in common. You would like him, he’s really fun to hang out with.”

Nothing, he still received no replies and Alec’s mood worsened even more, desperate to talk to Magnus. It was true that he was the one that told the other to leave him alone, but he didn’t really think that Magnus would take it so literally. But maybe there was another reason behind his silence and knowing what the other possibly was, Alec in a way glad that Magnus was quiet. On the other hand, it was killing him that the one person that he could tell everything to, ignored him all of the sudden. After weeks of talking to Magnus, it was really lonely to be completely alone and even though Alec usually loved staying alone in his room, he placed Magnus back onto his shelf, slowly got onto his legs and walked downstairs, helping his mother to prepare the dinner for that day.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

**A week later**

“Oh wow, thanks. I still haven’t this one yet,” said Simon, laughing as he took a book that Alec handed him into his own hands and then opened it, looking excited. The two of them were currently in Alec’s bedroom, happily chatting because they had just finished their homework. It’s only been a week since the two teens had met, but they had already grown pretty close. Earlier that day, Alec asked Simon to come over so that they could study together and he was really surprised when the other one agreed to come over. However, just as he expected, not a lot of studying had happened since Simon had gotten there. They were just messing around and discussing random things, none of them having anything to do with school of course. “Can I borrow it?” asked Simon and looked at Alec, who looked a bit distant.

A small smile remained on Alec’s face as he continued to observe the other, but it soon disappeared when he looked up at Magnus, who was looking away. He didn’t remember placing him that way, so the other must’ve turned on his own. What, he didn’t even want to look at him now? He sighed and then looked up, having a feeling that Simon had asked him something, but he was too busy with thinking about Magnus and wasn’t paying any attention at all. “What did you say?” he then asked and his smile returned.

“I asked if I could borrow this book,” said Simon and then narrowed his eyes. It was pretty obvious that Alec wasn’t present, at least not with his mind. He titled his head and then pressed his hand against Alec’s forehead, thinking that maybe Alec wasn’t feeling well. Alec gave him a confused look when Simon suddenly touched his forehead, not really knowing what was going on. “Do you feel okay?” asked Simon when he pulled back and he then crossed his arms on top of his shoulders.

“Um, yeah, I feel completely fine,” said Alec and smiled. “Why?”

“You just seemed a bit distant earlier,” explained Simon. “You sure you feel okay though? Or did something happen?” he asked. “Did Sebastian say something to you again?”

“Oh… no, it’s nothing like that,” explained Alec and leaned back against his bed, bringing his knees up to his chin and he leaned forward, resting his chin on his knees, wrapping arms around his legs. He then looked back up and his eyes widened when he saw that Magnus was now turned towards them, sadness reflecting in his eyes. Alec felt a stab at his heart when he saw him looking so down and he then looked away. So it’s been tough for him as well, huh? Maybe he didn’t hate him after all for kissing him like that. “I just… had a misunderstanding with someone and well, now I’m feeling a bit down I guess. The person really means a lot to me, but they’ve been avoiding me lately and-”

“Oh,” said Simon, interrupting Alec. “Problems with your girlfriend?”

Alec’s heart started beating faster when Simon asked him that and his face darkened. God, he hated talking about that. He looked at Simon for a split second and then he looked away, closing his eyes tightly and he took in a deep breath. He was acting strange, he knew that. He could tell that also from Simon’s expression; he seemed surprised to see him acting like that. It was just a simple question, the one that Alec could just easily brush off, but lately that was one of the hardest things.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Alec finally managed to force out.

Simon nodded when he heard that reply and a sad smile came upon his lips when he saw that Alec was slowly shutting down, his walls up as he was trying to guard himself. He knew that his questions made the other one uncomfortable and he sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder gently, but Alec wouldn’t look at him. Alec had told him quite a lot about himself, one of the thing being that he was suffering with depression. He had learned that Alec used to go to a therapist, but stopped going because it just didn’t feel right. He knew that it was supposed to make him feel better, but the only thing that it did to Alec was make him believe that he was crazy. After a long talk with his parents, Alec managed to convince them that he was doing better, even though it was all just pretend, they believed him and from that point on, he was on his own, with those dark feelings and thoughts. Simon bit his lower lip and then scooted closer, knowing it far too well what Alec was going through; it was the same for him as well, before he finally accepted himself. He knew that Alec was going to hate his next question, but it needed to be asked.

“How about a boyfriend?”

Alec dug his fingers into his arms and then gripped the fabric of his shirt, swallowing thickly. He didn’t have a boyfriend, but how on Earth did Simon know that he liked guys? He hadn’t tell him, so who did? Sebastian? Probably. Judging by how the other people reacted to that, he knew that Simon’s reaction was probably going to be the same. Was he going to call him a freak as well? Simon was a good guy, but you could never know. Alec always found trust in wrong people, so he wouldn’t be really surprised if Simon ended up leaving him as well. But Alec didn’t want that, he really. He didn’t want to be gay, he just wanted to be ‘normal’.

He opened his mouth to tell Simon that he wasn’t gay, but instead of that “I don’t want to be gay,” came out of his mouth and he quickly pressed a hand towards his mouth, as if he was trying to put those words back inside, but it was already too late; the damage was already done. Both, his heart and mind were racing; he was desperate to tell something else, but nothing came out of his mouth. Alec’s breathing became terribly uneven as he sat there in complete silence, his whole body shaking. There it was; the truth.

“Alec,” started Simon and then took a few moments of silence. “There’s nothing wrong if you like-”

“It is!” snapped Alec. “I just want to be normal.”

“And what is normal for you, Alec?” asked Simon.

“I-” started Alec, but then stopped, not knowing the answer himself.

“See?” said Simon and chuckled. “It’s completely normal falling in love, it doesn’t mean if the other person is a girl or a guy.” After that Simon stopped talking and sighed, glancing at Alec and he placed his palm against the other’s back, drawing uneven patterns against it. Alec flinched at the touch, but didn’t push Simon away. Instead, he just sat there in complete silence and listened to everything that Simon had to say. “I know what you’re thinking… that your feelings for another guy are filthy, right?”

Alec lifted his head up and looked into Simon’s direction. “How do you-?”

“I was there once, before,” replied Simon. “Just like you, I wasn’t able to accept who I really was. I tried to fight it, I really have. I tried everything, dating girls, sleeping with them, but nothing could change the fact that I was attracted to other men,” went on by saying the teen and gave Alec a small smile. “It took me years before I was finally comfortable with who I was,” he then added and watched how Alec’s eyes grew.

Alec’s eyes were wide opened and he cleared his throat, blinking a few times, wondering if he heard it correctly. “So, are you gay?” he then asked him quietly and slowly straightened himself up.

“Yes,” said Simon and chuckled happily. “Trust me, it wasn’t always easy for me to admit it to other people, but it gets easier as time passes,” he then added and gently ruffled Alec’s hair. “I know that it doesn’t seem like it now to you, but it will get better. Just whatever you do, never call your feelings disgusting. That’s horrible, there’s nothing disgusting about you or what you’re feeling,” added Simon seriously and wrapped an arm around Alec’s neck.

Alec looked down, his face heating up. That was what Magnus said to him as well. He gulped and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He still wasn’t ready to admit it to himself that he was completely okay with himself, but he had started to see another side of himself. Maybe he had some good qualities that people liked about him; he had shown his true self to Simon and he didn’t seem to mind it. Not to mention Magnus as well. Magnus was right all along; he was just too stupid not to listen to him. And what did he do in the end to the person that tried to help him? He pushed Magnus away and hurt his feelings. It was his own fault really that the other one was avoiding him.

“I’m such an idiot,” whispered Alec and Simon shook his head.

“You aren’t,” whispered Simon, pulling him a bit closer. “You just need some time to-”

“No,” said Alec, interrupting Simon. “I’ve hurt him… the person that I like,” he then whispered, so that Magnus couldn’t hear him, but his face heated up either way and he turned away from the doll, facing Simon in the process.

“Oh? What happened?”

Alec glanced at Magnus, who looked unamused with what he saw. He didn’t know it why, but he had a frown on his face, his lips pressed together into a thin line. Feeling Magnus’ eyes on him, Alec’s blush deepened and he scooted even closer to Simon, causing a book, which was on a shelf next to Magnus, suddenly fall onto the floor. That startled both of the teens and Simon moved a bit further away from Alec. Alec looked up at the doll again and he was confused, it was clear to him that it was him that caused the book to fall; but why?

“Alec?” asked Simon, finally gaining Alec’s attention.

“U-uh… yeah?”

“What happened between you and that guy?” he asked again.

Alec didn’t really know if he wanted to tell him that, since Magnus was right there with them, but in the end he realised that he had no other choice but to tell him. He rubbed his palms together and looked at Magnus one more time, before facing Simon, feeling nervous. “We’ve k-kissed,” whispered Alec and gulped. “I-I mean… I kissed him and t-then I just ran away. I didn’t know how he felt about the kiss, so I freaked out and ended up pushing him away. I hurt his feelings and now he is avoiding me. It’s been a whole month since that happened and he still wouldn’t talk to me.”

“Oh,” said Simon and nodded. “Does he know how you feel?”

“I don’t know,” said Alec, not daring to face Magnus. “Maybe.”

“Well, you have to tell him at some point, Alec,” said Simon.

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way as I do? I’m afraid that I have ruined our friendship. There’s no way that we can go back to the way we once were,” muttered Alec, his heart beating like crazy. That was the first time he admitted out loud that he liked Magnus and it was a strange feeling, but most definitely not a bad one.

“That’s the risk you’ll just have to take,” said Simon. “I was a beyond afraid when I confessed to my current boyfriend, but it ended up being one of the best decisions that I’ve chosen to do.”

Alec sighed, but nodded in the end because he knew that Simon was right. He would need to face his fears, if he liked it or not. Besides, there was no way that he could go on forever without talking to Magnus. He pressed his lips together and looked at Magnus, who moved just a little bit, a smile forming on the doll’s face. Alec felt his heart fastening, blush forming over his cheeks and he had to force himself not to look at Magnus again. But that was kind of impossible thing to do, since Alec had a feeling that he was being watched constantly. Also, he kind of sensed that Magnus wasn’t a big fan of Simon. In the end, Alec plucked up the courage and made the decision to talk to the other after Simon would go home.

 


	8. Chapter 8

After Simon left Alec’s house, the young man stayed alone in his bedroom and nervously got onto his legs, rubbing his sweaty palms together as he tried to calm down his racing heart. He honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. Magnus had heard their entire conversation, which kind of helped, but made things more awkward at the same time. To Alec’s confusion, Magnus was just still staying still on the shelf and Alec took a quick glance at him, noticing that Magnus’ eyes were following him. It was a pretty creepy sight to be honest, because the other parts of Magnus’ body stayed completely still, just his eyes were following Alec up and down the room as he was nervously pacing around the room. Magnus had to admit it, it was kind of refreshing to see Alec trying to pluck up the courage to actually step to him and start the conversation. On the other hand, he was still kind of unsure if Alec was willing to talk to him. Besides, Alec should also apologise for the way he treated him after the kiss and if Magnus was going to get the needed apology, then the other should just forget about actually talking to him. Magnus knew that Alec was hurting, but heck, so was he and he was a stubborn doll.

Alec took in a deep breath when he was finally sick of pacing around his room and slowly made his way to the shelf, again feeling like the world’s biggest moron as he started speaking to Magnus. It was true that he then knew that Magnus actually heard him, but it was still weird when Magnus wouldn’t even move a muscle. “Hey, Magnus?” started Alec slowly and let out a hitched breath. “We need to talk,” he then forced out and pressed his lips together, Magnus’ expression telling him that he wasn’t amused. “I want to apologise to you,” he then added and it was finally then that Magnus moved his head just a little bit, Alec’s heart speeding up and his face heated up. “T-that day, I did something terrible,” said Alec and shrugged. He had mistaken Magnus’ silence once again. Before he thought that Magnus was ignoring him, because he pushed him away after the kiss. However, now he wasn’t so sure. He was probably ignoring him because he was disgusted by the kiss, that had to be the only rational explanation. “I shouldn’t have kissed you and-”

“This is why you’re apologising?!” snapped Magnus and Alec almost jumped when the other spoke and quickly got onto his legs. He didn’t get it; just before Alec was telling to Simon how he was afraid that he might hate him for running away, and now he was apologising for entire another reason, which didn’t even make sense. “You’re so dense, Alec, why in the world would you be apologising for kissing me? Did I ever say that I hated the kiss?” went on by saying Magnus, who had it absolutely enough. He thought that after talking to Simon, Alec would finally understand things, but it seemed that Alec really was helpless when it came to love.

“W-what?” blurted out Alec and his eyes widened when he heard those words coming out of Magnus’ mouth. The other one didn’t say that he hated the kiss, but the fact that Magnus was ignoring him for the past month made Alec think that. Also, who wouldn’t be disgusted by that kiss? Maybe if it was someone else, then things would be different. Alec’s heart sped a little bit and darkness overcame his thoughts. “T-then why did you ignore me?”

“Why, you ask?” asked Magnus in disbelief and shook his head. “How the fuck was I supposed to feel after you kissed me and then just pushed me away? Who ignored me then? I begged you to come out of the bathroom, because yes, we needed to talk. We still do,” said Magnus and narrowed his eyes, slowly walking down the shelf, jumping onto Alec’s bed and then he changed his size, standing up next to Alec, who was now looking away. “And for the record, I didn’t hate the kiss,” he then added, crossing his arms on top of his chest.

“T-that’s a lie,” stammered Alec and closed his eyes, his heart falling to the pit of his stomach when he remembered the expression that Magnus wore when he kissed him. He looked so shocked and so, so appalled by the kiss. “You were white as a sheet when I kissed you. Not to mention that you looked absolutely horrified and-”

“I was surprised!” snapped Magnus, finally making Alec stop talking. Magnus’ heart hurt when he heard that Alec thought that he hated the kiss, which couldn’t be further away from the truth. “I’ll admit it, I was caught off guard when you suddenly kissed me,” went on by saying Magnus, his voice softer then. “But that doesn’t mean that I disliked the kiss,” he said. He then took a step forward and gently wrapped a finger around one of Alec’s fingers, pulling his hand closer just a little bit. He then looked up and saw shock and panic written all over Alec’s face; he still wasn’t comfortable in his own skin. Magnus knew just how much the other one struggled with accepting himself for the way that he was; he heard him cry too many times. But, he was there to show him that it didn’t matter who you loved; love wasn’t a dirty feeling, no matter how much Alec believed in that. “I liked the kiss, Alec,” whispered Magnus and Alec’s body stiffened when he felt Magnus’ breath against his lips.

Alec panicked when he heard Magnus say that. A part of him wanted to believe those words, they made his heart and mind at peace, but there was that annoying and loud voice present in his head that was telling him that Magnus was just saying that, because he felt sorry for him. God, he hated that so much; doubting into himself. It was so annoying and Alec knew that his own doubts drove other people away from him. “B-but,” stammered the young man and shook his head in disbelief. “Y-you can’t be serious, I mean-”

“There you go again,” said Magnus softly and shook his head. “Doubting into everything that is good about you. It’s frustrating watching you struggle so much. I seriously can’t comprehend how you can’t see the good in you. And again, it’s nothing disgusting about those feelings you’re having. It’s completely normal to be gay, Alec. The sooner you see and accept that, the better,” spoke Magnus, softer than before and he could tell that Alec was walking on thin ice; he was about to break down at any time and Magnus knew that he needed to go through to him before that would happen. After that, there would be no point; Alec completely shut off other people and go into his own little world. “You love me, don’t you?”

Alec’s eyes widened; Magnus hitting the bull’s eye. It was true, Alec knew all of that. He was completely fascinated with Magnus and to him it didn’t even matter if he was a doll or a human. He was beyond beautiful and he didn’t want to defile him with his own dirty feelings. Magnus was something so precious and so sacred to him that he wanted nothing more but to treasure him. But how was he supposed to do so if he had such impure thoughts about him. “I don’t,” muttered Alec, still looking down and he whimpered when Magnus sighed and stepped closer.

“Oh really?” asked Magnus, arching an eyebrow. “Then why did you kiss me that day?”

“I,” started Alec, but his voice then trailed off and he looked down, shaking his head. “Because I’m fucked up. H-how can’t you see it?”

“For fuck’s sake,” said Magnus and gritted his teeth, finally reaching his breaking point as well. He felt so frustrated; he couldn’t get through that thick skull of Alec’s and it was slowly starting to drive him mad. He placed his hands onto the other’s shoulders and then pushed him back, trapping Alec between his body and the wall. “You had no problems discussing your feelings with that guy before,” said Magnus, digging his fingers into Alec’s shoulders and the young man let out a hiss of discomfort, Magnus completely oblivious of the fact how hard he was actually squeezing. There was another feeling present in Magnus, not only the need to make Alec realise that it was okay for him to fall in love. His heart and mind were driven by jealousy and Magnus’ eyes were dark with anger, Alec’s eyes widening when he saw that, completely speechless at Magnus’ words. “Is he more important than me all of the sudden?”

“Magnus, stop it,” muttered Alec and whimpered again when Magnus squeezed his shoulders tighter. What the hell was wrong with him? Alec couldn’t get it, why was Magnus so upset over him finally having a friend. He thought that Magnus would be happy after finding out that he finally found a friend, but now it was completely different. Then it hit the young man; Magnus was jealous. “Are you jealous?”

“So what if I am?” asked Magnus. “How do you think I should feel? Watching you constantly talk with him over the phone and watching you with him while he was over. I get that he is your friend and I am happy that you made one,” said Magnus and made a short pause. “B-but he managed to make you smile, even more than me. For most parts, you were always happy around him and when you’d be with me, you-”

“And why the fuck you think it’s like that?” snapped Alec, interrupting Magnus this time. Magnus’ eyes widened and he blinked a few times, frowning as he waited for Alec to continue. “Y-you’ve seen it all… my worst parts, the way that I break down when I can’t handle it any more. W-when you’re with me, I can’t put on a happy face if I’m not in a good mood, I can’t pretend while you’re around,” said Alec and let out a hitched breath. “For me, you’re the only one. Simon might be my best friend at the moment, but it’s different with you. Because I lo-” started Alec, but then bit his tongue and stopped talking.

“Because you love me.”

“Don’t say that,” said Alec and shook his head. “I don’t-”

“You do,” stated Magnus and watched how Alec broke down yet again. Alec slowly nodded, because it was true. He loved Magnus with all of his heart, even though he didn’t want it to be true. But he was so tired from all of the lying and he just nodded. “And it’s completely okay to feel this way.”

Alec didn’t say anything. He just leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to wet his cheeks and then, he just cried. Magnus’ heart shook and he swallowed back his own tears, Alec was completely broken, shattered. But Magnus promised to himself that he was going to help Alec, he was going to collect him, piece by piece. He was going to allow Alec heal and show him that it was okay to fall in love.

“Allow me to help you,” whispered Magnus and gently cupped Alec’s face. “Please.”

“Okay,” said the young male and forced himself not to look away as the other forced him to lift his gaze up. Magnus gave Alec a small, but bright smile as he hugged his face, feeling the other one shuddering in his hands. He had to bite his lower lip; Alec was afraid and Magnus knew that he needed to be careful with the young man. He didn’t know much about emotions with other people worked, but he knew Alec well enough to know what to expect.

After a while, Alec finally felt himself relaxing and he slowly closed his eyes, nuzzling into the touch. Magnus’ hands were firm and cold, yet somehow they warmed Alec up, more than anyone was able to do so before. He placed his hands together behind his back and let out a hitched breath as he slowly opened his eyes, Magnus gently wiping traces of tears away and he had to force himself not to run away. He trusted Magnus with all his heart, yet he didn’t trust himself. He couldn’t prevent himself from remembering how soft Magnus’ lips were against his that day, how much he liked the kiss. It was true that Magnus supposedly liked the kiss as well, but… How did he feel about him? The other one probably didn’t have any romantic feelings toward him, right?

Magnus smiled brightly when he saw that Alec finally relaxed a bit and he brought his face closer to Alec’s, gently giving him a few kisses onto his cheek, nose and forehead, somehow supressing his wish to kiss Alec’s lips as well. Alec’s eyes widened at that and he froze completely. “Shh, Alec, relax,” said Magnus, his voice soft, almost soothing. “It’s okay.”

“Okay,” whispered Alec back, this time not fighting back his feelings. He promised Magnus that he would allow him the help, so he just nodded, staring into Magnus’ eyes for a few moments, waiting the other to say something.

“That’s it,” said Magnus softly, happy to see that he made some progress. It was going to be baby steps, but the fact that Alec didn’t push him away, even though Magnus was able to tell that that was something that the other one wished to do the most at the moment, meant progress. “It’s completely okay to feel like this,” he then added when he saw that Alec’s breathing had gotten uneven and his cheeks were slightly coloured into deeper shades of red. The way that Alec blushed was beyond adorable and Magnus gently ran his fingers into Alec’s hair, gently tugging onto it just a little bit, before placing his hand onto Alec’s chest. “Your heart is racing,” said Magnus with amusement and arched an eyebrow, delighted to see that he had such a strong effect on Alec’s body.

“I-”

“It’s completely normal,” said Magnus quickly and placed a finger on top of Alec’s lips. The way that Alec’s heart was beating had a great impact on Magnus as well. As a doll, he would always grew attached to his owner’s feelings and emotions, but this time it was completely different. Even though he didn’t have a beating heart, he could still feel a strange sensation in his chest and he let out a hitched breath. “It’s the same for me. Look,” he then said and gently took Alec’s hand into his own, placing it on top of his chest, wondering if Alec could feel the beating as well.

Alec’s eyes widened when he felt that Magnus’ heart was racing just like his, his face heating up and he then looked away. “Y-you have a heart?” blurted out Alec, but then started kicking himself internally, thinking that he had ruined the moment.

“Apparently,” said Magnus, since this was news to him as well. “This is the first time that I’ve felt this,” he then muttered and looked up at Alec, who looked rather shocked. “I’ve been alive for so many years, but this is actually the first time that I feel _alive,_ ” he said. “I feel more like a human than a doll.”

“Oh,” was all that Alec said.

“This is all thanks to you, you do realise this, right?” asked Magnus and earned a shocked look from the other one. “You woke me up from years of sleep. It’s all thanks to you and your feelings towards me. I can feel them, I know how you feel,” he said. “And nothing about them is dirty or wrong,” said Magnus, finally addressing the main matter. “They are beautiful. You are beautiful.”

This time, Alec didn’t oppose Magnus like he usually would. He slowly nodded, and even though he didn’t quite believe that yet, Magnus made it sound as if he was the most beautiful person in the world. At that exact moment, Alec’s heart melted into a pile of goo and he just nodded, Magnus chuckling because he was happy that the other one finally decided to take the compliment, instead of denying it. “Thank you,” muttered Alec. “So much.”

“No need to thank me, I’m just stating the truth,” said Magnus with a grin and finally earned a playful smile from Alec. It’s been a while since he had last seen a proper smile on Alec’s lips, but it was worth the wait. He then pressed a kiss onto Alec’s temples, before finally wrapping his arms around the other, pulling him into a tight and warm embrace.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Alec was silently sitting on his bed, reading a book, while Magnus was patiently lying next to him, supporting his body weight on his elbows and he sighed. He was currently in his doll size, and he then turned around, sighing as he laid on his back. He eyed Alec again, but the other was too distracted by reading to actually see that Magnus was dying to do something else than just lay there. For once, they could go somewhere; it was nice to be all alone with Alec and all, but Magnus was bored. Also, it’s been years since he had last been out and he wanted to see how much the city has changed in the meantime.

Alec, who was completely consumed by the book, changed position, laying down on his stomach as he placed the book down and then continued on reading. For a split second, Magnus thought that the other might actually stop reading that stupid thing, but he was soon met with great disappointment when he saw Alec lying next to book and all that he could do was sigh and roll his eyes, still not gaining Alec’s attention. When Magnus finally had it enough, he slowly got onto his legs and walked to Alec, stepping on top of the book and then he sat down on top of the page, which Alec had been reading, making him unable to proceed with reading. Alec’s eyes widened at that and he blinked a few times, and then slowly sat up, tilting his head to the side.

“Come on Magnus, stop it,” said Alec softly and gently scooped the other one in his arms and placed him down onto the mattress. “I really want to finish this book today. Simon lent it to me last week and he has been asking me to return it.”

Magnus rolled his eyes; there was this Simon again and he frowned, not caring if Alec wanted to finish the book that day or not. If Alec wasn’t going to take him out, then he was going to go alone; anything was better than staying inside with having absolutely nothing to do. “Alec,” whined Magnus and threw himself back on top of the book, determined to win the argument. “You can read some other time. Pay attention to me, I’m bored.”

“Not now, later,” said Alec and picked Magnus up again, placing him back down onto the bed. Because he realised that he wasn’t going to get any work done in that position, Alec got back up into sitting position, taking the book with him. At that, Magnus puffed his cheeks with annoyance and finally changed his size, quickly snatching the book from Alec’s hands and he placed it onto the top shelf. As Alec wanted to go and reach for it, Magnus stopped him by grabbing his wrist and dragging him towards the door. “Where are we going?” asked Alec the other was dragging him towards the door.

“Out,” was all that Magnus said.

“Out?”

“Yes, out.”

“Why? It’s cold outside and-”

“I. Don’t. Care,” said Magnus softly and narrowed his eyes. “All that we’ve done up until now was hanging out in your room. Let’s do something else, let’s go out. Your parents aren’t home now, right?” asked Magnus and the corners of his lips curled up into a small smile when Alec nodded. “See? So we can easily go somewhere. Come on, it’ll do you good to go out among people. Besides, I’m bored out of my mind.”

“There’s nothing I can do or say to make you change your mind, is there?” asked Alec and rolled his eyes when he saw Magnus nodding with a grin and in the end, he decided to go out for a chance. He had no idea where they would be going, no that he really cared. But Magnus seemed to be looking forward to it, so he was just agreeing for the other one’s sake. “Fine, let’s go out then,” he finally said and looked at Magnus, who looked pretty happy with himself. “Though, you’ll need to change your clothes.”

“What’s wrong with them?” asked Magnus, frankly quite surprised. He happened to like the way that he was dressed.

“Nothing. They’re just too flashy and will attract unwanted attraction to us from other people,” muttered Alec and looked down, feeling his face heating up. “You can change into my clothes for the time being and-”

Magnus’ eyes widened and his eyes travelled up and down Alec’s body, judging his clothes. He loved Alec dearly, but if the other one thought that he was actually going to wear one of his worn out sweaters, he was highly mistaken. However, he quickly changed his mind when Alec stopped talking and it was clear to Magnus that Alec had to be beyond embarrassed, his face red and hot from embarrassment and Magnus in the end chuckled, deciding to do as Alec wished. “Sure, why not?” he then said and held back a chuckle when he saw that Alec’s face brightened just a little bit.

Alec thought that Magnus was going to be appalled with his idea of wearing his clothes, but when he heard that Magnus agreed to it, his mood brightened and he quickly nodded, stepping to his closet. It was such a childish thing to get so happy about, but he couldn’t help himself really. Lately, his mood had been better again, since he and Magnus finally made up and he was glad about that. “What would you like to wear?” asked Alec, shyly as he turned around and blinked a few times when he saw Magnus standing really close to him, not remembering it when the other came so close.

Magnus leaned forward and blinked a few times when he saw the state of Alec’s closet; it was worse than he imagined it to be. The clothes were neatly folded, that was true, but all the colours were dark and just plain sad. He glanced at Alec and promised himself to introduce the poor boy to some other colours, apart from dark greens, blues and blacks. But at the moment, he didn’t make any comments about that and he just pointed to a shirt, which kind of suited his taste the best. “That one,” said Magnus, pointing at a green shirt and then picked out some black jeans to go with the shirt as well.

When Magnus leaned forward to Alec, the young man immediately became very well aware of the fact that his heart started racing at the place when Magnus’ shoulder was touching his became very warm, the warmth spreading throughout his entire body. He wanted to move, but all that he could do was to stare at Magnus, only realising it then how long Magnus’ eyelashes were. Were they always so long? He swallowed thickly and tried to pay attention to whatever Magnus was saying, but he was too far gone; too focused on Magnus’ beauty. “S-sorry,” stammered Alec when he saw Magnus looking at him and he looked away. “What did you say?”

Magnus chuckled and shook his head slowly, finding it adorable how lost Alec actually looked and he bit into his lower lip, leaning closer to Alec once again, whispering into his ear. “I’d like that green shirt, please,” he said. “And those black skinny jeans as well. I know that I’m a lot to look at, but please focus, angel,” teased Magnus and arched an eyebrow when he saw Alec’s expression. Because Alec started feeling a bit more relaxed around him, Magnus decided that it was completely okay if he acted a bit more like himself as well; his personality being a tad more flirty and playful than Alec was used to so far.

Magnus’ words worked like cold shower and Alec finally stopped staring, grabbing the clothes and he shoved them into Magnus’ hands, walking to his bed as his eyes stayed focused on the floor, his heart hammering against his ribcage. Did Magnus really just called him an angel? Why? His blush only deepened when he heard the sound of zipper being undone, almost having a heart attack when he saw that Magnus started taking his clothes off right in front of him.

Magnus watched how Alec made his way to his bed and an amused smile remained on his face, because the other one wouldn't even dare to look at him when he handed him the clothes. Just the thought of Alec being so affected by his presence made Magnus feel strangely satisfied. As Alec sat down onto his bed and still avoided looking at him, Magnus came to the conclusion that he had waited long enough. Not seeing the problem of changing his clothes in front of Alec, Magnus quickly undid the zipper of his blue jeans and earned a small whimper from Alec.

Alec, on the other hand, was a complete mess by then and somehow managed not to look up, even though the curiosity was killing him. But he knew better, he knew that it wasn't right to stare at someone while they were changing their clothes, no matter how tempting it was. If Alec was about to look up and stare and Magnus, he knew that that would make him a terrible and disgusting human being.

Magnus ran his tongue over his lower lip, but remained silent as he slowly slid jeans down his legs and as he looked down, he realised that he had a problem. Since he was technicality a doll and didn't have to change his clothes on his own, he didn't have any underwear on him, knowing that he would probably have to put one on if he was about to wear someone else's clothes.

"Hey, Alec?" asked Magnus slowly and looked to Alec's direction, frowning when the other one wouldn't look at him, completely oblivious to the fact that he was stark naked at the moment.

"Y-yeah? What is it?" asked Alec then slowly, his face literally on fire.

"Can you lend me a pair of underwear as well?" asked Magnus, no embarrassment in his voice at all.

Alec reacted completely different to the sudden question and his eyes were wide open, wondering if he even heard the question correctly. Then a frown formed between his eyebrows and he rolled his eyes, thinking that Magnus was probably just messing around with him, which lately seemed to be the thing that he did. Alec didn't really know it why the other one liked messing around with him and even though it didn't bother him that much, he was slowly getting tired of it. So because of this, he looked up but soon realised that this time, Magnus was serious. As he looked up and saw the other male standing in front of him completely naked, Alec froze and couldn't bring himself to look away. Magnus' tanned skin looked even more gorgeous now that he was in his human form and he was literally devouring him with his eyes, a smirk growing on Magnus' lips when he realised that he was being watched.

To Alec, Magnus' body was perfect, he had a toned, muscular body, but it wasn't over the top. Despite Magnus' body being absolutely stunning, Alec found something that disturbed him. Magnus' entire body was covered with small cuts and scars and it was beyond Alec's comprehension who would hurt someone as beautiful and wonderful as Magnus was. The other one did mention a few times that he was thrown away by his previous owners, so maybe they caused that?

Alec then swallowed thickly and his face turned bright red when his eyes travelled lower, realising it only then that Magnus really was completely naked. The fact that he couldn't look away, made Alec feel sick down to his stomach and his entire body was shaking when he eventually did look away. "I am s-so sorry," stammered Alec, rubbing his palms together and he swallowed back a whimper when he heard Magnus coming closer to him.

Magnus let out a small sigh as he finally realised what Alec must be thinking and he just slightly shook his head. Even though Magnus had showed Alec that his sexual orientation was completely normal, the other male was still having trouble with accepting himself. On the other hand, Alec was showing some signs of progress and Magnus knew that even though he still had a long way to go, that still counted for something. Magnus slowly made his way across the room and kneeled in front of Alec, placing his hand on top of Alec's leg and gave it a gentle squeeze. Alec panicked at that and quickly closed his eyes.

"Alec," said Magnus softly. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," was Alec's faint reply, the guilt still present in his heart and he couldn't get rid of it even if he wanted to.

"You're starting to shut me off again. Don't lie to me," said Magnus and gave Alec a small smile as the young male finally gathered up enough courage to actually keep an eye contact with him. "You shouldn't feel guilty for stealing glances at me. It is completely okay to look and to be attracted to what you saw. You did nothing wrong," said Magnus softly. “Besides, I’m flattered,” he then added and a smile cracked Alec’s serious expression. Magnus smiled as well, his chest warming up when he saw the bright smile on Alec’s face; finally, he was able to get through to him.

The guilt finally disappeared from Alec’s heart and for once he was happy that Magnus had such a playful personality, it made some things much easier.  He slowly started accepting the fact that he was attracted to guys and slowly started believing that the way he felt for Magnus was completely normal. But, even though Magnus was so understanding and supportive, Alec still didn’t know how the other one felt about him. He did say that he liked the kiss, but that didn’t mean anything to Alec.

“S-so you accept my feelings for you?” slowly asked Alec, for the first time actually addressing the matter himself.

“Of course,” said Magnus lightly and gently touched Alec’s cheek with the back of his thumb.

“Good,” muttered Alec and opened his mouth to ask Magnus if he felt the same way as he did, but then closed his mouth and pressed his lips together, his heart fastening once again. His attention was distracted again, when he became aware of Magnus’ naked torso, his eyes stopping on those horrible scars that were scattered all over Magnus’ chest and stomach. Without even thinking twice, he reached forward with his hand and gently touched Magnus’ chest, the other one letting out a surprised gasp. “Who did this horrible things to you?” asked Alec softly and looked up, staring into Magnus’ eyes as he waited for an answer.

“My previous owners,” whispered Magnus and his face darkened just a little bit. “When they would find out about me being alive, some of them did cruel things to me. The best outcome was if they just threw me away,” he said. “But some of them believed that I was possessed by devil or something like that and they did horrible and ugly things to me,” muttered Magnus, not wanting to go into details, because it hurt too much if he remembered it.

“Jesus,” whispered Alec and his voice shook just a little bit. “C-can I?” asked Alec slowly as his fingers travelled lower and Magnus just nodded, allowing Alec to do as he pleased. Alec’s fingers slid past Magnus’ skin smoothly, gently caressing those horrible marks on it and he felt horrible. How could those horrible people make Magnus suffer so much? Anger and hate flashed in the young man’s eyes, Magnus gaining his full attention as he hugged his face once again, Alec nervously chewing on his lower lip. “They were horrible people, for doing this to you,” muttered Alec and pressed his lips together.

“I don’t blame them,” said Magnus and shrugged. “They were afraid, so I don’t hold it against them.”

“Well you should,” said Alec and frowned. “They shouldn’t get away with it.”

Magnus let out a happy sigh and he shrugged yet again, not wanting to dwell about the past. But the fact that Alec cared so much, touched him and he couldn’t really stop himself from lifting himself on his knees and his fingers went around Alec’s chin, holding his face close as he closed the remaining distance by pressing his lips on top of Alec’s. Alec’s first reaction was his body stiffening up and his eyes widened in shock when he saw that Magnus was looking at him. The look in his eyes calmed him down enough and his eyes slowly fell closed as Magnus kissed him again, applying a bit more pressure to the kiss. Alec’s fear gradually disappeared and Magnus smiled when he finally felt Alec returning him the kisses, which were filled with pure innocence and love.

It was Magnus who broke their kiss, the smile never disappearing from his lips as he continued looking up at Alec, who didn’t know what exactly to do with himself. “You’re adorable,” whispered Magnus and then deadly silence fell between them.

“W-weren’t we going to go out?” asked Alec slowly, interrupting the silence.

“Right… I was going to get dressed,” muttered the other one. Magnus quickly lifted himself onto his legs, Alec closing his eyes, but then the curiosity got best of him and he watched Magnus going back to his closet, finally pulling some underwear from it and weight lifted off of Alec’s chest as Magnus finally started dressing himself. Magnus could feel Alec’s eyes on him and he turned to him, waggling his eyebrows. “You’re really enjoying yourself, aren’t you?”

“Oh shut up and go get dressed already,” said Alec, throwing a pillow into Magnus’ direction, but the smile on his lips remained as well, his soft laughter filling the room as Magnus playfully stuck out his tongue.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Alec was currently in school, sitting in the middle of history class and was taking notes, happily swinging his legs under the chair, the smile bright on his face as he was listening to the professor. The reason behind his good mood was the fact that Magnus joined him in the school for that day. He was indeed in his doll form, resting inside of Alec’s bag, but that was still enough to make Alec feel and excited about the events that were going to happen later that day. The reason why Alec brought Magnus to school with him was because the two decided to go out again, Alec trying not to think about it as a date, even though Magnus did call it one. He let out a happy sigh and supported his body on top of the desk, looking around the classroom and smiled when he saw Simon looking into his direction, who sent him a wink, before he went back to taking notes as well.

He and Simon had gotten along quite good and the more time that had passed, the closer they grew to each other. It wasn’t just Magnus who helped Alec with understanding that he was a wonderful person. It was something that Simon had been saying a lot as well and little by little, Alec stopped feeling sorry for himself and started enjoying life. The usual bullies were still threatening him around, but Alec didn’t let it bother him too much. He even stood up to Jace once, when there wasn’t Sebastian around, and even though the other teen wasn’t around, it still made Alec be proud of himself. Before, he would have never allowed himself to do so; he would be far too scared and frightened to ever talk back to someone as Jace. Talking back to Sebastian was another thing, and Alec wanted to avoid confronting with him at all costs.

The next period, Alec had PE and he happily headed there, making sure that he locked his bag into the locker, not wanting anyone going through his things, since Magnus was with him that day. When the period was over, the professor called Alec over, because he wanted to discuss something with the younger male, the teen growing somehow impatient when he saw that all of the other students, except for Sebastian and Jace had already left the gym. As the man continued to talk to Alec, he wasn’t paying any attention to him, his eyes and mind too focused on the duo, which was playing basketball, or at least they were pretending to be. As he continued to watch them, Sebastian showed him his fist and Jace just gave him that meaningful you’re-so-gonna-get-it look. Alec’s heart shook with fear, but he didn’t let it bother him too much. On the other hand, he knew that he should expect Jace to hold a grudge against him for humiliating him in front of the whole classroom. He wouldn’t be too afraid if it was just the blonde one alone, but now that Sebastian was there as well, it made Alec sick down to his stomach.

He quickly made his way to the locker room and tried his best to change his clothes as soon as it was possible, but as soon as he unlocked the locker, he could hear a pair of footsteps coming closer to the room and as he turned around, he already saw the two teens standing in front of him, Sebastian having that evil smile on his face, which he was known for. Jace, on the other hand, held his distance a bit as he was standing behind Sebastian, but the look in his eyes terrified Alec and he just quickly turned around, not wanting to show any signs of fear. He knew that they weren’t going to ignore him, but at least if he didn’t pay too much attention to him, then they wouldn’t be so harsh on him, right? As he opened his bag, someone quickly grabbed him by the shoulder and slammed him across the room, pinning him against the lockers, his head hitting the locker with a loud bang and Alec let out a small whimper of discomfort.

It was Jace, who slammed Alec into the locker, holding him close by the collar of his shirt and even though Alec tried to struggle him, the weight that was pushing him down was just too strong for him, finally giving up. His eyes then went to Sebastian, Alec’s heart falling to the pit of his stomach when he saw the other teen holding his bag in his hands and his whole body froze with fear. Usually he wouldn’t care about the bag, but now that Magnus was in it, Alec’s whole body started shaking with anger and fear as well. If the other one was about to do something to Magnus, Alec promised himself that he would hurt Sebastian as well, no matter how many bad consequences was that going to bring him.

“Leave my bag alone,” said Alec, his voice low and calm, surprised by the way that he was able to speak in front of Sebastian and Jace. Usually, he would be a stuttering mess, but now he was completely different. Even though his body was shaking with fear, it was different. He wasn’t scared for himself, but for Magnus and was ready to do anything to save him.

“Where’s the wallet?” demanded Sebastian and started going through pockets, Alec’s heart hammering against his ribcage.

“I’ll give it to you, just let me go,” said Alec and struggled against Jace’s body. He grabbed the fabric of Jace’s shirt and tried to slam the other one against the locker, the other teen surprised by the sudden struggle and he spat into Alec’s face, the other’s eyes closing and he felt sick again. The bullying might had stopped for the past few weeks, but that didn’t mean that it stopped for good. The usual nausea returned and Alec gripped Jace’s wrists as he tried to free himself.

“Stay still, you little fucker,” said Jace through his teeth, but Alec paid to attention to him.

“Where the fuck is your wallet?!” repeated Sebastian, his voice now louder and in the end grew tired of waiting.

Alec’s eyes widened as the other one turned his bag upside down, making all of the things inside it, including Magnus, to fall onto the floor and for the next few moments, Alec didn’t dare to move or to say anything. He could feel the temperature dropping in the room and the only thing that he could hear was his loud breathing and the sound of his racing heart as he hoped that Sebastian wasn’t going to pay any attention to Magnus at all. But of course he was mistaken. Sebastian’s loud laughter filled the room and he then leaned down, picking up the doll into his hands as his laughing only grew louder. “What the fuck is this?” asked Sebastian. “Jace, look at what this freak is carrying around in his bag. He’s even more fucked up than I thought.”

Jace turned around to see whatever the hell Sebastian was talking about and when he saw the doll in Sebastian’s hands, he started laughing as well. “You’re pathetic, you know this right?” he then asked Alec, who was just looking away, his face red with anger and embarrassment.

“Put it down,” said Alec slowly.

“Why?” asked Sebastian and threw Magnus in the air, to Alec’s luck catching him into his hands. He could see how much Alec was worried and that excited Sebastian, deciding to have his fun with it as much as he could. “It’s just a doll,” he then said, throwing it up again and Alec’s eyes stayed on Magnus throughout the entire time, not struggling to escape Jace’s strong hold anymore. “Hey, take a look at it,” said Sebastian to Jace and then threw the doll into the blonde’s direction, the other one letting Magnus hit the floor on purpose and Alec’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach when the doll hit the floor with loud thump.

“Oops,” said Jace and let go of Alec for a split second, so that he could pick Magnus up and he waved him in front of Alec’s eyes. Alec’s body moved on its own and he reached forward with his hand, to snatch away the doll from the other’s hands. However, Jace was much quicker and he pinned him back against the locker, holding the doll away from him. “Behave or your little precious doll will get hurt.”

Usually, Alec would listen to the other one, but he had changed. There was no way that he was going to allow the other one threaten him with hurting Magnus. Angry, Alec moved fast and caught Jace completely off guard, taking the hold of his collar and he then rammed him into the nearest wall, heart hammering against his ribcage. “Give him back,” said Alec through his teeth and just as he was about to take Magnus, Jace threw it to Sebastian, leaving Alec completely pissed off. The young man, who had it enough, took a handful of Jace’s blonde hair and pulled hard, before he shoved him away, so that the other went flying across the room. However, when he was faced with Sebastian the fear returned. Jace quickly got onto his legs and cursed as he made his way back to Alec, determined to revenge himself.

“Calm down, Jace,” said Sebastian and an evil smile spread across his lips. He then turned to Alec, who flinched and made a step back. “I must say, I didn’t think you had it in you, to be so… aggressive,” he said and then looked at Magnus. “This doll must mean a lot to you, right?” he then asked and looked at Alec, whose breathing was fast and uneven. He didn’t give him a verbal reply, but the silence was enough to let the other one know that that was probably the case. “So I see,” said Sebastian. “It’s a nice doll as well,” he said. “It would be such a pity if something happened to it, right?”

“Give it back you son of a bitch!” snapped Alec and quickly stepped to Sebastian, but soon realised that that was a wrong move.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, having fun as he watched Alec getting so upset over such a little thing as that doll. When Alec stepped closer, Sebastian grabbed Magnus’ torso with one hand and his head with the other one. Alec’s eyes widened and the only thing that he could really do was to watch with horror in his eyes how Sebastian pulled hard. “No, please don’t,” whispered Alec and his heart broke when he heard a loud crack, Magnus’ head breaking off of his neck, tears wetting Alec’s face in a blink of an eye. “W-why?” he then stammered.

“Because it’s fun,” said Sebastian and shrugged, throwing both, Magnus’ torso and head onto the floor, signing Jace to come closer. As Alec wanted to pick up the broken pieces of Magnus, Jace rammed him back into the locker, this time Alec didn’t struggle and he just closed his eyes, a loud sob escaping his mouth. He had just lost a person that mean the most to him. He really did think that that was it for Magnus and the only thing he could was to sob, not even caring what the duo was going to do with him.

“That fucking hurt,” then said a voice and Alec’s eyes shot open when he heard Magnus’ voice. “Who was the idiot that did that to me?” went on by saying the man and his eyes scanned the room, his eyes narrowing when he located Sebastian and he slowly made his way to the teen. “It was you,” he stated firmly and enjoyed when he saw how the teen’s expression suddenly changed into a terrified one. He was glad that he was able to wipe that cocky smile off of his face. He then looked at Alec and Magnus’ facial expression softened up almost immediately. Without thinking twice, he shoved Jace away, not being careful with his strength at all. Jace’s body hit a wall with a loud bang and then he stopped moving. The corners of Magnus’ eyes curled up into a smirk; the other one had it coming.

Alec’s eyes widened when he saw Magnus do that and he swallowed thickly; that was the first time that he saw Magnus like that; he looked absolutely terrifying. He had to admit it to himself that he was kind of afraid of the other one, but at the same time, he knew that Magnus would never hurt him. He was more afraid what might have happened to the other two. Jace was still unconsciously lying on the floor and Alec had to question himself, how strong Magnus really was to knock out someone as Jace so easily. When Magnus looked at Sebastian, the other one flinched and quickly started looking around, desperate to find a way to escape, but he soon found himself to be trapped. He had no idea what or where Magnus came from, but the fact that he made Jace like that, scared him. His eyes flickered over to Alec and he frowned; the other one wasn’t afraid. Why?

“Y-you,” stammered Sebastian and pointed at Alec. “T-tell him to stop.”

“Why?” asked Alec and was surprised by how cold his voice was. “You did nothing but torment me throughout all these months. So, why should I help you? I don’t care what happens to you, I hate you,” spat out the younger teen and Magnus’ eyes also widened, but he was kind of proud of Alec as well for standing up for himself.

“Now then,” said Magnus and rubbed his palms together. “What should I do to you?” he then asked and flicked with his fingers, pinning Sebastian against the wall with his magic and even though the other one tried to escape, he couldn’t move.

Magnus smiled, so far so good. It felt so satisfying seeing Sebastian scared and he was determined to make him suffer a bit more; he knew that it sounded twisted and sick,  but a person like Sebastian deserved it. He had hurt Alec enough, so now it was his turn to suffer. Magnus was very protective and possessive when it came to his owners and he was determined to avenge them every time that someone did something bad to them. Also, this was Alec that he was talking about, so of course he was going to make sure that he would make people who hurt him suffer.  

In the meantime, Sebastian turned around, to run out of the room, but Magnus used his magic again and made sure that the door was locked. A loud scream left Sebastian's mouth when the door closed and locked on itself. He frantically grabbed the doorknob, desperate to see the door open, but nothing happened. Knowing that he was trapped, he quickly backed away and with fear it his eyes watched how Magnus was coming closer.

“W-what are you?” stammered Sebastian quietly and swallowed thickly.

Magnus started laughing when he saw the scared expression on Sebastian's face; that meant that his plan was working perfectly. The next thing that Magnus did was to make the lights flicker, before he gave Sebastian an answer.

 _Your worst nightmare,_ was what Sebastian heard Magnus say, but the other one’s mouth wasn’t moving as he said that. That was enough to let Sebastian know that something was really off with Magnus and he covered his ears with his hands as he tried to block out the laughing, which was growing louder and louder. How was it even possible? The other man wasn’t even opening his mouth and yet-

“Make it stop!” screamed Sebastian on top of his lungs and Alec narrowed his eyes. He didn’t know what was going on, but it was kind of exciting to see Sebastian so stripped down, his fear showing raw in his eyes and when he looked at Magnus, shivers ran up his spine. The other’s eyes were dark with hate and the wish to kill; kind of making Alec wonder if Magnus was really capable of doing that. When he looked at Sebastian again, he felt a stab of guilt at his heart, knowing that it wasn’t right to be doing that. Yes, Sebastian tormented him for so long, but he didn’t want to stoop down to the same level as he.  

Magnus, on the other hand, was having a blast. To make things even worse, he used his magic to slip into Sebastian’s mind, controlling the other’s body and he smirked when he saw how easily the other one gave in. He wanted to make sure that the other understood what was going on. Having control over Sebastian's body, he moved Sebastian in front of the nearby mirror, making sure that Sebastian regained enough consciousness to know what was going on.

“H-how did I come here?” asked Sebastian and when he took a look himself in the mirror, he quickly backed away. The person looking back at him was a completely different version of himself. His eyes were red, skin completely white and he had an evil smirk on his face. Sebastian quickly rubbed his eyes, trying to tell himself that his mind was only playing tricks on him, but the image wouldn't disappear.

“Stop it!” he screamed. “Stop!”

Magnus just laughed and Sebastian could hear him again; his own image staring back at him in the mirror and laughing back at him. Sebastian grabbed the nearest thing that he could find and threw it to the mirror, the mirror shattering into pieces and he quickly closed his eyes. He didn’t know what was going on anymore. Magnus was too far gone to actually think what he was doing; his mind was only focused on revenging Alec, who now had it enough, knowing that he had to stop Magnus before he’d hurt the other one. 

“Let me out!” Sebastian screamed and started banging on the door. “Alec, help! Please!” he yelled out. Then there it was again, that horrible, horrible voice, which seemed only Sebastian to hear and he yelled out again.

_Pain.... suffer... die._

_DIE_

_DIE_

_DIE_

“NO!” yelled Sebastian and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down it. When he finally reached the floor, he brought his knees up to his chin and hugged himself, waiting the things to be over.

“Magnus, stop!” snapped Alec and stepped to Magnus, grabbing his wrist and then he pulled him closer, making Magnus loose his focus on Sebastian, who was still holding himself close to the wall. “You’ve taken things too far, stop it!” he then repeated as Magnus wanted to step closer to Sebastian again.

“Why?” asked Magnus impatiently. He still wasn’t done; he wanted to hurt Sebastian, just like he hurt Alec. “Don’t you know all of the horrible things that he had done to you?!” asked Magnus, his voice low. When Alec nodded, Magnus’ face darkened and he shook his head; he didn’t get Alec, he really didn’t. If the other one understood, then why stop? In Magnus’ opinion, that fucker deserved to be dead for all he cared. It might have sounded cruel, but Magnus had been put through enough and he had really seen it all.

“Magnus, if you hurt him any further, how will that make you any different from him?” asked Alec softly and titled his head to the side.

“I-” started Magnus, but then closed his mouth and sighed, finally nodding and he knew that Alec was right. However, before he would leave Sebastian alone, the other one still allowed Alec an apology; a sincere one and Magnus was determined to get that apology out of Sebastian. “You,” he said and looked at the teen, who flinched and looked away. “Come here.”

“Magnus-”

“I won’t hurt him,” said Magnus softly. “I promise,” he then added and with a heavy heart, Alec slowly nodded.

“W-what now?” asked Sebastian.

“Apologise to Alec,” demanded Magnus. “For all of the bad things that you did, apologise.”

“Excuse me?” snapped Sebastian.

“Do. It,” said Magnus and narrowed his eyes. _Or else._

When Sebastian heard that voice in his head again, he flinched and quickly nodded and turned to Alec. “I’m sorry,” whispered Sebastian.

“That’s not good enough,” said Magnus. “ _Beg_ for forgiveness.”

Sebastian didn’t need to be told twice and he quickly nodded. “I-I am so sorry for everything that I have done to you so far. I-I won’t do it again in the future, I-I promise,” said Sebastian, his voice trembling and Alec raised an eyebrow. It was funny how fast tables were turned. “C-can you please forgive me?” he then asked, almost begging and he didn’t dare to look at Magnus anymore.

“Yes,” said Alec after a while and nodded. As he said that, weight lifted off of Sebastian’s chest and he fell down onto his knees, burying his head into his palms as he was trying to even out his breathing. Alec didn’t look at him anymore; he just walked past him, collected all of his things and gently tugged onto Magnus’ sleeve. “Let’s go, I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Okay,” said Magnus, not quite happy with how easy Sebastian had it. If it was up to him, he would be still screaming in fear, but he didn’t want to upset Alec any further, so he allowed himself to be pulled out of the locker room and he sighed once they were out of the school, looking at Alec, who was looking down and Magnus frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t ever do that again,” whispered Alec softly and then slowly lifted his gaze.

“Are you angry with me now?” asked Magnus, utterly speechless. “He deserved it, Alec, and if you-”

“That’s not it,” whispered Alec, interrupting Magnus. “I don’t want to see you like that ever again. You looked… you weren’t yourself. I couldn’t recognise you at all and that scared me. I was terrified of you, which isn’t something that I want. I-”

“I’m sorry,” said Magnus and wrapped his arms around Alec, finally realising why Alec looked so shocked before. “I won’t even do that again. I promise.”

“Good,” said Alec and a smile came upon his lips as he slowly leaned closer and for the first time, without any hesitation, pressed a gentle kiss against Magnus’ lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you who have commented, liked and supported this story. I can't believe that so many people actually like this x'). I was kind of hesitant to post a story that was so different from what I've written so far (or read), so I am really thankful that so many people seem to enjoy reading this :)  
> Again, thanks to everyone and I'll see you in the next chapter, bye, xxo 
> 
> Katy**


	11. Chapter 11

“So,” started Simon and looked into Alec’s direction, who was sitting on a bench, having an ice-cream in his hands and was happily licking it, his legs swinging back and forth under the bench. He felt like a kid again, but he didn’t mind it for a change. He was happy and that was all that mattered. It was weekend and Alec and Simon were currently sitting in front of a shopping mall and were waiting for Simon’s boyfriend to join them. It took Simon quite some time to convince Alec to come along with the two of them and after a while, Alec finally decided to come along with them. That way, Simon thought that he would be able to make it easier on Alec to accept himself if he saw him and Raphael. “How are things going with that guy that you mentioned that you like? Have you talked about _that_ yet or are you still avoiding him?”

Alec stiffened up a little bit, but his facial expression soon changed and a shy smile spread across his lips as an image of Magnus flashed in front of his eyes and he slowly nodded. “We did talk, in a way,” started Alec and nervously looked down. He still didn’t know what he and Magnus were in reality. All that Alec knew was that Magnus didn’t dislike the kiss and every now and then they would share a kiss, which seemed that both of them liked. Yet, they still didn’t have a proper talk about their relationship and Alec didn’t know whether that was good or not. In a way, he wanted to know what Magnus thought of him, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to put any labels yet on them. “I’m not avoiding him anymore and we’re still pretty close, I guess,” went on by saying Alec, taking in a deep breath.

“Well, that’s good,” said Simon and gave Alec an encouraging smile. “You really like him, huh?” he then asked, because he could see just how big Alec’s smile was when he would talk about the other one. Not only that, but to Simon it seemed that Alec was in a better mood in general lately and he couldn’t be happier about that; Alec was slowly starting to accept himself for who he was and it seemed like that he was finally feeling comfortable in his own skin.

“Ah, yeah,” replied Alec slowly and the smile remained on his face. He then looked up at Simon. “Is it really that obvious, isn’t it?”

“Kind of,” replied Simon happily and shrugged. “Does he know how you feel?”

“He does,” replied Alec slowly.

“And?”

“I don’t know,” whispered the teen and looked down. “He does accept my feelings, he is totally cool with it. H-he is constantly saying that I shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling the way that I do about him and he says that I am beautiful,” muttered Alec, feeling his face heating up as Simon playfully whistled at that. “Though, I don’t know how he feels about me. I haven’t asked him, because I am too nervous and-”

“He feels the same way, trust me,” said Simon, interrupting Alec when he was about to go to his dark place again and he placed a hand on top of Alec’s shoulder, giving in a gentle squeeze. “He knows how you are, so he doesn’t want to rush things and he is afraid that he’d push his feelings onto you. When you feel ready, just ask him.”

Alec’s eyes widened just a little bit, but in the end he nodded as he felt his heart hammering against his ribcage. Just thinking about Magnus returning him the feelings, was enough to make Alec’s body melt into a pile of goo and he then bit his lower lip. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” whispered Alec and gave Simon a bright smile.

“Of course I am,” said Simon and his soft laughter filled the space around them. After a while, Simon checked the hour and he then frowned; Raphael was running late. He rolled his eyes; he loved his boyfriend, he really did, but he disliked that side of Raphael with great passion. The other one would be always late, no matter how many times Simon told him to not be late. “Ah, that idiot is running late again,” said Simon to himself, but it was loud enough for Alec to hear him and he chuckled.

“I don’t mind,” he said and shrugged. “How long have the two of you been together?” was the next question that Alec asked.

“For about a year,” said Simon happily and turned to Alec once again, placing the phone back into the pocket of his jacket. “He’s two years older, but I swear that sometimes I wonder if that’s true. I mean sure, he looks mature, but sometimes his personality reminds me of a 5 year old,” commented Simon and sighed, shaking his head. Alec’s smile grew, because he could see the way that Simon’s eyes lit up when he would talk about his boyfriend and he wondered; did he also look like that when he’d talk about Magnus?

They spent a few more minutes sitting there, just chatting about random things, when Alec located a young man, who was slowly coming closer to them. He had black hair and was a bit shorter than Simon; finally realising it that that was probably Raphael. Alec blinked a few times and he had to admit it; Simon’s boyfriend was really good looking and he quickly looked away as the other came closer, Simon only noticing him then and he crossed his arms on top of his chest, shaking his head.

“You’re late,” stated Simon firmly and stood up, walking to his boyfriend. “Again.”

Raphael didn’t say anything, he just narrowed his eyes, but the corners of his lips curled up and formed a sly smirk as he walked closer to his boyfriend. Then without saying anything, Raphael gently held the collar of Simon’s shirt and pulled him close enough, to press a kiss on top of his lips and Alec quickly looked away, knowing that it was inappropriate to be staring at the two so much. However, it was amusing to see that when Raphael broke the kiss, Simon didn’t appear to be angry anymore and that was the first time that Alec had seen the other one blush.

“Are you still angry, _mi amor_?” asked Raphael, Alec sensing a glint of an accent in his speech, and Simon just rolled his eyes, his anger already disappearing into thin air.

“No,” said Simon, feeling kind of annoyed with himself, because he was never stay angry with Raphael for too long, especially when the other would use his Spanish to get out of the trouble. It was a manipulative thing that Raphael often used to do and Simon was still weak to it.

Alec had to hold back his laughter, because he could feel that it was an awkward moment for Simon. He then watched how Raphael leaned up to press a kiss against his boyfriend’s forehead and then he walked past him, walking up to Alec, who quickly got up onto his legs and rubbed his palms together, feeling quite nervous about meeting a new person. He had heard quite a lot of things about Raphael from Simon, but now that it was finally time to meet him, he felt nervous for some strange reason. On the other hand, that was something that usually happened when Alec would meet new people and he tried his best to hold the smile on his face.

“Hello,” said Raphael and slowly reached out with his hand. “I’m Raphael, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he then said and Alec quickly took Raphael’s hand, shaking it slowly and gently, looking down as he released his hand and firmed a loose fists with his hands, not able to find the right words to say to the older male.

“Yeah, it’s really nice that we are able to finally meet,” slowly said Alec.

As the awkward silence fell between the two of them, Simon slowly walked closer and smiled; that was something to be expected since both Raphael and Alec weren’t really too keen on meeting new people. “Now then,” he started, knowing that he would probably have to do most of the talking there, at least for the first few moments, just to break the ice. “Should we get inside and find a good place to eat? I am starving.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” muttered Alec.

“Sure,” replied Raphael and looked down when Simon took his hand into his own. Alec’s eyes flickered down when he saw that and he suddenly wished that he would have Magnus with him as well. He could see the love in Raphael’s eyes when he would look at his boyfriend and Alec sighed, at that moment finally deciding that he and Magnus probably needed to have that talk, of which Alec was honestly quite terrified.

* * *

 

As soon as Alec returned back home, he went straight to his bedroom and threw himself onto the bed. He was tired, but happy. It kind of worn him out that he had to socialise with a new person, Raphael, but in the end, he had fun with it. He had learned quite a few things from Raphael, one of them being that it was completely okay to be an introvert, which meant liking to spend free time by yourself than with other people. And the other one was, that he had finally gathered enough courage to ask Magnus how he felt about him. Watching how happy Simon and Raphael were made him jealous and he wanted to have that as well, with Magnus. However, now that he was back, he could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage just thinking about it. But he was determined; he was going to ask Magnus!

Alec used to think that having feelings for a person that was the same gender as him, made him dirty and filthy. However, he was slowly beginning to realise that he was wrong all along and that day the last of his doubts were gone. When he saw how happy Simon and Raphael was together, he had to admit it to himself; there was nothing wrong or unnatural about it. They were just two regular people, who happened to fall in love with each other and honestly, Alec couldn’t believe that it took him so long to realise that. However, now that he did, he couldn’t be happier. He had finally accepted himself for who he was.

“Did you have a good time, angel?” softly asked a voice and Alec quickly turned around, Magnus standing next to his bed.

Alec’s heart filled with warmth and love, finally being convinced himself that the thing that he felt for Magnus was a normal and a beautiful feeling. He really was in love with Magnus, despite the other one not being human, that didn’t bother him one bit. With that on his mind, Alec slowly lifted himself off of the bed and stepped next to Magnus, who titled his head to the side, kind of curious why Alec was so quiet and serious.

“Alexander, did something happen-” started Magnus, but was interrupted as Alec suddenly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight and warm embrace, Magnus’ eyes widening as that happened. When he was about to ask another question, Alec spoke, making him speechless at the process.

“Nothing’s wrong,” muttered Alec and allowed himself to stay quiet for a few more moments, before he continued. “T-today I met up with Simon and his boyfriend,” he then added and felt that Magnus stiffened up a little bit. The other one really didn’t know where Alec was going with that, so he patiently waited to get an answer, but he did feel himself getting a little bit nervous. He could feel that Alec’s heart was pounding for some reason and that made him anxious. It was true that Alec didn’t seem upset, but you could never know when it came to the young man. “W-watching them together made me realise how wrong I was the entire time.”

“What do you mean?” asked Magnus softly, his own arms finding their way around Alec’s waist and he pulled him a bit closer.

“They looked so happy together,” muttered Alec. “And there was nothing dirty and unnatural about that,” he then added, making Magnus smile and he nodded to himself. That was something that he, and other people, were constantly trying to tell Alec, but now that the other finally realised it himself, Magnus couldn’t be happier about it.

“Finally, it took you long enough to realise it. I mean, I was telling-” started Magnus, but then was interrupted when Alec said something that made him go speechless once again.

“I love you,” blurted out Alec and buried his face into the crook of Magnus’ neck. His cheeks were flushed bright red, his breathing uneven, but he was proud with himself. Weeks ago, he would never have enough courage to actually say those three words, despite knowing how he truly felt about Magnus. And since that was the first time that he actually said that out loud himself, he couldn’t help his own body from trembling. Magnus’ heart melted as he heard Alec say that and a smirk came upon his face when he felt Alec slightly shaking in his arms. He knew how scared and nervous the other one must’ve felt.

“You finally said it,” said Magnus softly and pulled back, giving Alec’s forehead a soft kiss.

“W-what about you?” asked Alec, his voice small and shaking.

“Huh?” asked Magnus. “What about me?”

“How do you feel about me?” asked Alec painfully slowly and he was sure that his heart was about to jump out of his chest. At that exact moment, he was stripped down almost completely, his emotions put out on display and he felt nervous, because he had nothing left that he could hide his feelings behind. “We’ve never had a proper talk about it and I was just wondering-”

“I feel the same,” said Magnus immediately. Alec was true, they had never discussed how he felt about him, but there was nothing to be talked about. He loved Alec from the first day on and he was so happy that he didn’t have to hide his own feelings anymore. “I love you too,” whispered Magnus and Alec’s eyes welled up, tears of happiness gathering in his eyes. “So much,” he then added and gently hugged Alec’s chin as he slowly pulled back just a little. “You’re the only one for me.”

Alec grit his teeth as new tears of happiness wetted his face and he tightly closed his eyes, looking down as he continued to silently sob in Magnus’ arms. The other one didn’t know how to react; he knew that those were probably tears of happiness, but he hated seeing Alec cry, no matter what the reason was behind his tears. He wanted to see Alec always smiling; in his life he had cried enough and with that on his mind, Magnus leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. Alec tried to prevent himself from sobbing, but he just couldn’t. That was just how he was; when he would start crying, he couldn’t stop, even though the tears were from happiness and sadness this time. Honestly, he couldn’t believe it; Magnus felt the same. He had a feeling that he felt the same, but now that he finally heard Magnus say that, was a completely different feeling.

“Alec, why are you crying?” asked Magnus, concerned and quickly started wiping the other’s tears away with the sleeve of his shirt and swallowed back his own tears, biting into his lower lip as it started trembling. “Please, stop, it breaks my heart to see you like this.”

“I’m just so happy,” whispered Alec in between his sobs and then pulled back, giving Magnus a soft and quick kiss. “I-I’m sorry that it took me so long to accept it,” he then said and hiccupped, trying to stop himself from crying, but wasn’t really that successful at that. “B-but now that I did… I am just too happy that I don’t know what to do.”

“Alexander,” whispered Magnus softly and Alec looked at him, blinking a few times, the tears finally stopping to fall and he slowly smiled when Magnus’ cold hands gently hugged his face. Alec leaned his body against Magnus’ and allowed the other one to do as he pleased. “I’m glad that you’re finally happy,” spoke Magnus and chuckled. “You deserve all of the happiness in this world and I promise that I will make you happy,” he said. “I’ll never make you cry… ever again, from this point on, smile. Besides, you make me happy as well.” Magnus then sighed a bit and connected their lips in a long and sweet kiss. “I’m crazy about you, angel.”

“Why ‘angel’?” blurted out Alec, not thinking twice about the question himself. He had been wondering why Magnus picked out that nickname for him; it wasn’t that he hated it. It made him feel special, but it made him wonder what exactly he did to deserve such nickname.

“Don’t you like it?” asked Magnus playfully and waggled his eyebrows. “I could come up with something else… for example… honey?”

“God, please no… my mom calls me like that,” muttered Alec, feeling his face heating up. “A-angel is fine, I was just wondering why-”

“Because you remind me of one,” was Magnus’ simple answer and it made Alec frown. That had to be the dumbest explanation that he had ever received, but in the end he nodded, though the frown stayed. Magnus leaned in and kissed the frown away, finally gaining Alec’s attention again and then grabbed his wrist, dragging him and pushing him back against the bed. As he did so, Alec let out a loud yelp, because he was caught off guard and then burst into loud laughter as Magnus laid next to him. His laughter died down when Magnus climbed on top of him and narrowed his eyes, Alec’s face flushing into bright pink colour, but the smile returned as Magnus leaned down and gave him a kiss, Alec quickly responding by wrapping his arms around Magnus’ back and he pushed him closer as they shared another kiss.

The duo was too lost into their kiss that they didn’t hear how footsteps started coming closer to Alec’s bedroom and then the door suddenly opened. Alec was in a such hurry to properly confess his feelings to Magnus that he forgot to lock the door and his body stiffened when the door opened, quickly pushing Magnus down and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach when he saw his mother standing there, her eyes wide open and she let out a loud gasp as she covered her mouth with her hand. Alec was maybe ready to come out to Simon and Magnus, but his parents were another thing. It was true that Maryse and Robert had already told him that it was okay for him to love whoever he wanted, Alec still wasn’t ready to come out to them.

Magnus was just as nervous as Alec was and even though he wanted to run away, he stayed, wrapping his arms around Alec’s shaking body as his mother turned around and left the room without saying anything.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Maryse, who was quite surprised with that she saw in her son’s room, quickly turned away and left the room, quickly walking downstairs. She usually didn’t want to bother Alec, but she had heard her son talking to someone and then it seemed as if Alec yelled out. She didn’t know what happened, so that was why she decided to go check on her son. Usually, Alec would lock his room, but this time, he didn’t for some reason. She honestly didn’t know what to expect before she entered the room, but seeing her son making out with some other guy wasn’t one of them, so she just quickly left and walked down into the kitchen, where she sat down and blinked a few times, rubbing her palms together.

It would be probably better if she reacted some other way, but she honestly didn’t know what to do at that exact moment. She didn’t mind what she saw, of course not, she had a hunch that Alec liked boys for years now and she and Robert were constantly telling Alec that it was okay for him to love whoever he wanted to. And yet, she knew that Alec was struggling with his own identity, especially with accepting the fact that he was gay. She felt a stab of guilt at chest and then looked towards the stairs, kind of expecting to see Alec standing there, but her heart sunk when she couldn’t see him there. Usually, Alec would come up to her when he would want to tell her something. So why not then? He was still probably struggling with coming out to other people, but the fact that he seemed to have a boyfriend, was a huge improvement. That made Maryse smile and she sighed; she was happy for her son.

Lately, Alec seemed to be in a lot better mood and she couldn’t be happier. Back in the day, she would hear him sob in his room and there was nothing that she could do; he didn’t let her near him. After she agreed not to take Alec to therapy anymore, she worried. After that, she had no idea what was Alec going through and no matter how hard she tried to talk to him, he just wouldn’t get her near. It was worse with Robert; when Alec was still a child, he had a wonderful relationship with his father. However, as he grew up that relationship started to crack and both of them knew the reason why; Alec was probably aware of the fact that he was attracted to boys and that was why he distanced himself from Robert, because he didn’t want to get hurt. Maryse let out a small sigh and then shook her head, knowing that she needed to have a talk with Alec. No matter how uncomfortable it was going to be for her son, she just couldn’t let him deal alone anymore. He needed to know that he accepted him for who he was.

As she slowly made her way up the stairs, her heart fell to the pit of her stomach when she heard Alec’s sobbing and she gripped her shirt. It killed her to know that Alec was in so much pain and she was ready to do everything to take that pain away. As she stepped closer to the door, she could hear a voice that didn’t belong to Alec, which was telling him that everything was going to be okay. She smiled just a little bit; at least Alec had a good boyfriend, who knew how to calm him down. He was doing a better job than her at the moment and that realisation hurt.

“Alec, you have to calm down,” whispered Magnus and squeezed the crying teen closer to himself, pressing soft kisses all over his face, desperate to stop Alec crying. It killed him to see the other like that; they had just managed to get together and be happy for a short period of time. Why did things always have to go wrong just as Alec started to be happy and smile more? That was something that Magnus couldn’t comprehend. “Come on, stop crying,” he then whispered, swallowing back his own tears as he pressed his lips against Alec’s temple. “I’m begging you.”

“H-how?” asked Alec in between his sobbing and shook his head. “M-my mom saw us… d-did you see her reaction?” he then asked and started sobbing harder. The look on his mother’s face killed him. Just like always, Alec thought of the worst situation and he had mistaken his mother’s shock and surprise for disgust and disappointment. To him, it seemed that she wouldn’t love him anymore, even though he was very well aware of the fact that both of his parents had told him that they would love him no matter what. “S-she hates me.”

“She doesn’t,” stated Magnus firmly.

“She does,” said Alec and buried his face into the crook of Magnus’ neck and continued to silently cry in his arms, Magnus feeling helpless. He really didn’t know how to calm him down. Alec was close to his parents, so it was understandable that he was so afraid of being hated by them. There was just one thing though; Magnus couldn’t see any disgust and hate in Maryse’s eyes when she caught them kissing. There was surprise and shock, yes, but that was it.

“Honey, he’s right,” finally said Maryse, who was still standing in front of Alec’s bedroom and she then slowly opened the door, Alec’s eyes widening when he saw his mother standing there, her eyes wet with tears as well. They were tears of hurt and guilt; she felt guilty that Alec suffered that much. She had no idea, to be honest, that he struggled that much with self-acceptance. And she, as a mother, should know that. It was her priority to take care of her son, but he was a stranger to her, in a way. “I don’t hate you,” she said. “God, there’s no way that I could ever hate you, how can you think that?” she then asked and then blinked, tears rolling down her face, making her vision go blurry.

“M-mom, I-” started Alec, but his voice trailed off and his heart started beating faster. He wanted to run away, but found himself completely unable to move. He was completely paralysed with fear and the only thing that he could really do, was to look away and hope for the best.

A smile spread across Magus’ lips and he then nodded to himself, very well aware of the fact that he currently wasn’t needed in the room. Alec and Maryse needed to have a much needed talk and he would just be a distraction there. Because of this, Magnus straightened himself up just a little bit and gently hugged Alec’s face, making him look at him. Alec was a mess and it hurt to leave him in that state, but it needed to be done. He leaned forward and kissed him gently, kissing his forehead before finally pulling away and he watched how Alec tiled his head to the side a bit. “I’ll leave now,” he said softly. “You and your mom need to have a talk. I’ll wait downstairs, okay?”

“M-Magnus, don’t leave now,” whispered Alec and quickly grabbed Magnus’ wrist.

“I won’t be far, I’ll be just downstairs,” said Magnus. “Besides, if I stay I’ll be just in a way. You need to have a proper talk with Maryse, without me in the room. See you later, okay?” he then said, got onto his legs, straightened his clothes and gave Maryse a small smile as he walked past her, her eyes widening.

“Magnus?” she whispered and looked at the young man, who was a spitting image of Alec’s doll. Not to mention that he had the same name. However, she then just shook her head when she realised how silly her thoughts were. She was just making up things, right?

After Magnus left, deadly silence fell between Alec and Maryse, the young man looking anywhere but up to his mother. He felt stripped down without Magnus and he absolutely hated that feeling. He wanted to run away, but when he looked up and saw that Maryse was coming closer, he quickly looked down and waited for his mother to sit down next to him. He flinched when she placed a hand on top of his shoulder and he let out a hitched breath when he looked up, fresh tears gathering in his mother’s eyes. The woman was completely devastated with Alec’s reaction; he was afraid. Her only son was afraid so much that his entire body was shaking, Maryse’s heart breaking at the process. All that she wanted to do was to wrap her arms around Alec and take the pain away, but she knew that that wouldn’t help. Alec looked as if he was about to break down at any time, so she knew that she needed to be careful.

“Alec, honey,” started Maryse and then took in a deep breath. “You know that you can tell me anything, right?” she asked softly and forced a smile when Alec slowly nodded, but still stayed silent and she sighed yet again, swallowing thickly. What was she supposed to say? She was clueless and that realisation made her shake right to the core. What kind of a mother was she?

“Mom, I am sorry,” whispered Alec and Maryse’s eyes widened, because she had no ideas why the other was apologising to her. If there should be someone to apologise, it should be her. Alec did absolutely nothing wrong and yet, he was begging for her forgiveness. “I didn’t mean to disappoint you, so-”

“Alec, stop it,” whispered the woman and shook her head. “You shouldn’t be apologising to me, you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.” She then let out a quiet sniffle and wiped away her tears as she tried her best to stay collected and not break down in front of the other one. “I am not disappointed, I could never be. Not with you, do you understand? And I love you, no matter who you are or who you love. Do you understand, Alec?”

Alec’s eyes widened just a little bit and his heart started hammering against his ribcage. It was hard to breathe, and he didn’t even know it himself why. The fact that he was gay felt as if he was lying to his mother, that was why he apologised and felt like he disappointed her. He knew that she was okay with it, yet he chose to hide it from her. From both of his parents. He opened his mouth, to say that she was right and to tell her that he was gay, but nothing came out. His whole body was shaking as he struggled to get words out of his mouth, but nothing would came out. The words burned on his tongue and he felt so frustrated that he couldn’t say it out loud.

“Shit,” whispered Alec and burst into tears, Maryse’s arms pulling her son into tight hug and she allowed Alec to take his time to calm down.

“Honey, it’s okay,” she said and felt as if someone turned back the time. It felt as if Alec was a child again, crying in her arms and she pressed a kiss on top of Alec’s head, gently stroking his back as the other one continued to cry. She said nothing more, she knew that Alec needed his time to calm down and Alec was happy about that.

“Mom, I’m gay,” suddenly Alec whispered and his own eyes widened, because he didn’t expect to say that. Maryse’s eyes were wide as well, but her facial expression soon softened up and she gave the teen a warm smile as she pulled back and gently ruffled his hair. “I’m sorry that it took me such a long time to say it. I know that you and dad said that it was completely okay, but I-I just… I tried to be normal, mom, I really did, but it didn’t help. I-I like guys and I-” went on by saying Alec, who was then just blabbering and Maryse just smiled, knowing that that was what Alec tended to do when he was nervous.

“I know, honey,” said Maryse, the smile not disappearing from her face. “I am glad you finally decided to tell me and I feel so bad that you had to go through so many things on your own. I feel guilty that you didn’t feel comfortable to come out to me earlier.”

“N-no, mom, it’s not your fault-”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” she then muttered and pulled Alec into another warm hug. Alec wrapped his arms around Maryse’s body as well and relaxed in his mom’s arms; finally after so many years he was able to hug his mother again without having to worry or feeling guilty. He wiped the traces of tears away and then a bright smile brightened his face, the worries from before disappearing into thin air. He felt as light as a feather without having to hide this secret from his mother and if he knew that it would feel so good after coming out, he would do it sooner. Maryse was happy as well, especially after she saw a wide smile on Alec’s face. She then pulled back and wiped her tears away as well and then awkwardly chuckled.

“So that boy from before,” she started and eyed Alec. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Yes,” replied Alec softly and looked at the door, where he saw Magnus standing and he quickly looked down as his face flushed into dark shades of red and he chewed on his lower lip. Even though hadn’t put any labels on their relationship yet, it seemed that Magnus was his boyfriend and no matter how hard Alec tried to hide his smile, he just couldn’t.

“Good,” said Maryse. “He seems nice,” she said. “Plus, he’s cute.”

“R-right,” whispered Alec and looked into Magnus’ direction, blushing even harder when he saw that the other one was smirking, waggling his eyebrows playfully at him and Alec pressed his lips together. “What are you laughing at?” asked Alec softly and puffed his cheeks, gaining a soft laughter from Magnus. Maryse turned around at that moment and quickly walked to the other, a bit embarrassed from her comment earlier, but decided not to let it bother her too much.

“Um, hi,” she said softly and extended her hand out, which Magnus took and then shook her hand. Maryse’s eyes narrowed and looked down, surprised when she felt how cold Magnus’ hand was at the touch, but didn’t say anything. “I’m Maryse.”

“Magnus Bane,” he replied with smile.

So, his name really was Magnus. Maryse’s smile remained, but it disappeared when she looked at the shelf, where Alec usually kept his doll. Because she couldn’t locate the doll, he looked again at Magnus and her eyes widened. He looked just like the doll, no matter how crazy it sounded. Also, it was very weird that the doll was nowhere to be seen, Alec would always keep it with him. So, why…

“Mom?” asked Alec carefully. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing at all,” said the woman softly and then facial expression softened up, yet the weird feeling remained. “I am happy that we finally got to meet, Magnus,” she then said and looked at Magnus again.

“Likewise,” said Magnus and even though he wore a smile, deep inside he was screaming. Maryse knew who he was, he could feel it.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took me so long to update this, I had a minor writer's block :/  
> I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter :)  
> Comments and opinions are well appreciated

It was in the middle of the day and both Magnus and Alec were getting ready to go out. Alec had made plans with Simon and he invited Magnus with him as well, since he wanted the two of them to meet. Simon was quite excited about the meeting, because he had heard quite a lot of things about Magnus and he couldn’t wait to finally meet him. Knowing both of them really well, Alec had a feeling that Simon and Magnus were going to get along pretty well, so he knew that he shouldn’t worry too much. On the other hand, it was true that in the past Magus was jealous of Simon, but he hoped that it wouldn’t bother the other one too much.

Alec, who was going through his closet, pulled out a blue shirt and a pair of jeans. When he put the clothes on, he stepped in front of the mirror, fixed his hair and then smiled at his own reflection. He ran his teeth over his lower lip and gently touched the mirror, letting out a happy sigh. He was usually quite nervous about the meeting, even though he knew that things were probably going to end up completely fine. He wanted things to go as smooth as they possibly could, because he honestly didn’t know how he would manage it Simon and Magus would end up disliking each other. They really were the two people in his life, beside his family, that he was the closest to. With that on his mind, Alec stepped out of his bedroom and went into the kitchen, where he found Magnus, who was already waiting for him.

Magnus was kind of conflicted about the whole meeting of Alec’s friend. A part of him was looking forward to it, because meeting Alec’s friends meant getting even closer to him, but on the other hand, he still wasn’t too fond of this Simon guy. He seemed a bit too loud for his liking, but he still decided to give it a go, since he knew how much it meant to Alec.

“You look amazing, like usually,” commented the other male and stepped closer to the other, wrapping his arms around his waist, leaning closer to press their lips together a few times. Alec smiled when they shared the soft and sweet kiss, the smile remaining on his lips when Magnus pulled away. “Though, I would appreciate if you would at least try one of the clothes that I bought to you last week,” he then added, sounding kind of disappointed. Magnus had talked Alec into going shopping with him the previous week, but somehow Alec just wouldn’t wear the clothes that he picked out of him. “Don’t you like them?”

“Oh come on,” said Alec and bit his tongue. “You’re complimenting me far too much,” he then muttered and walked past the other. Ever since he got together, Magnus had been showering him with compliments, even more than before and honestly, he still wasn’t used to it. “And while I appreciate the clothes you picked out for me, I’ll go with something more subtle for now.”

“Fine, whatever. Also, you need to learn how to take a compliment,” said Magnus softly and then followed Alec. “Take me for example; I love it when people give me compliments. I mean, I know that I am amazing, but still, you know, it feels nice when people say good things to me.”

“Aren’t you humble one?” teased Alec and rolled his eyes; he knew it far too much how much Magnus liked it when people complimented him, especially his looks. And it was true, the other deserved all of the compliments that he had gotten and more; he was amazing. Alec, on the other hand, felt weird when people would give him compliments.

Magnus smirked when he saw that Alec appeared to be thinking hard about something, so he woke him up by taking his hand and dragging him towards the entrance door. Alec’s train of thought was interrupted by that and his facial expression softened up when he saw Magnus’ wide smile.

“Let’s get going,” said Magnus and stepped outside the apartment, Alec following him as well, leaning against the wall as the other locked the door of the house.

“Yeah, we are already late,” said Alec when he looked at the clock.

“That’s true,” said the Magnus in agreement.

Alec took his phone out of his pocked when he felt it buzzing. He rolled his eyes when he saw that it was a text from Simon, who was apparently waiting for them already. “Simon’s already waiting for us, so we should really get going. He really doesn’t like it when people are late.”

 “I know, you told me that quite a few times already, actually,” said Magnus and gave him a small smile and then gave him another kiss. “Now let’s go, okay?”

“Yeah,” said Alec softly, his previous dark thoughts long forgotten when Magnus teasingly pulled him out of the house, attacking his lips before they finally got going.

* * *

 

“You two finally decided to show up,” said Simon, when the couple came and both of them bowed their heads in an apology.

“I know and we are both really sorry about that,” said Alec, still having Magnus’ hand in his own as they walked closer to the table, where Simon was sitting. “Besides, you know that I am bad with coming on time and this time I came a lot earlier than usual,” said the teen, letting go of Magnus’ hand. “If it wasn’t for him, then I would be still stuck at my apartment, choosing which clothes to wear,” joked Alec, making Magnus chuckle at the process.

Simon’s eyes travelled up when Alec pointed to the youngest male and then smiled, realising that the other was Magnus; the one that meant the world to his best friend. “Hello there,” said Simon with a smile on his face and got onto his legs, extending his hand out to Magnus, who took it almost immediately. “I’m Simon and you must be Magnus, right? I’ve heard so many things about you so it’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

“Same,” said Magnus through his teeth and his body stiffened just a little bit as he shook the other’s hand. “I hope that you only heard good things about me,” he then added, earning a playful punch from Alec and a chuckle from Simon, who sat down and leaned back in his chair.

“Of course,” said Simon and watched how the other two sat down as well and then gently tapped Alec on the shoulder. “I’ve only heard great things so far,” he said. “You see, Alec here, talks about you all the time.”

“Simon!” snapped Alec, his cheeks colouring themselves into a bright pink colour, Magnus’ soft laughter filling his eardrums. “There’s no need to embarrass me in front of Magnus,” he then whispered to his best friend, but it was loud enough for Magnus to hear, bursting out into a much louder laughter.

It was precious to see Alec be so flustered and embarrassed; and even if it wasn’t a rare thing to see, Magnus still decided to make the best of the moment, making sure that he would let Alec know that he would tease him later on. Magnus was constantly teasing him lately and it might had bothered Alec, but Magnus didn’t care. He just loved it to watch Alec getting so frustrated over little things.

“I think that we’ll get along quite fine,” said Magnus to Simon and eyed at Alec, who was still sulking apparently. “I would really appreciate it if you would tell me more about Alec,” he then went on by saying and playfully bit his lower lip when he noticed that Alec’s eyes widened slightly. “Especially the embarrassing moments.”

“No worries, there’s a lot of those, so you’re in for a long story,” said Simon, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Alec didn’t say anything. Instead, he just stayed quiet, having his arms crossed on top of his shoulder as the other two continued poking fun at him. He kind of wished that Simon would stop talking, because he was starting to share some really embarrassing moments from their time together when Magnus wasn’t around, but after a while, he decided to stop acting like a child and started laughing at himself and his stupid and embarrassing moments that he had made so far. Plus, the fact that Simon was making Magnus laugh so much was also a bonus to Alec; Magnus’ laughter was both handsome and contagious. Also, it seemed that Magnus didn’t dislike Simon anymore.

Magnus was also having the time of his life. He had to admit it that he was completely wrong about Simon, he felt stupid that he used to dislike him so much. Plus, Simon seemed like really a good guy, who loved joking around and Magnus liked that about other people. Alec was right about everything, he and Simon really had gotten along as soon as they met and he felt happy about making a new friend, especially because Simon was so close to Alec.

“You know, the two of you are being so lovey-dovey that it’s making me jealous. Raphael is never so nice to me,” whined Simon when he saw Alec holding Magnus’ hand. “But I am really glad that it worked out for you two,” went on by saying the eldest and sighed. “When I first got to know Alec, he was a mess. It was really rare for me to see him smile, but now he looks like a changed man. I am really glad that Alec finally learned how to accept and love himself.”

Magnus’ smile disappeared for a moment when he heard Simon say that and he quickly looked down. Alec, on the other hand, pushed his lips together and looked at Simon, giving him a warm smile. “I’m really happy that it worked out as well,” said Alec softly and gently squeezed Magnus’ hand. “It’s all thanks to you,” he muttered and then looked away as well, feeling his face heating up at the process.

Simon smiled as he looked at Magnus, who appeared to be having fun. He then eyed Alec, who appeared to be constantly looking away for some strange reason, but he didn’t pay much attention to that. Alec’s lips curled up into a small smile when a man started coming closer to their table and he immediately recognised him. It was no other than Raphael, but Simon didn’t see him, since he was sitting turned away from the door of the café. Raphael placed a finger on top of his lips, signing Alec not to let the other one know that, because he wanted to surprise his boyfriend on his own.

Raphael knew that Simon was going out to meet Alec and his boyfriend and he was, of course, invited to come along as well, but Raphael declined that offer. He kind of thought that he was going to be in a way. Besides, he didn’t like meeting new people and even though Magnus wasn’t technically a stranger, since Alec was constantly talking about him, he still decided to skip the meeting. It was a dumb idea to decline the offer, because in the end he and Simon ended up getting into a fight, just before Simon left. Now, Raphael wasn’t the type of a person who cared if he hurt other people’s feelings. But Simon was special and he felt extremely guilty and ashamed of himself for the way that he spoke to the younger male; it wasn’t fair.

Wanting to surprise Simon, Raphael placed his hands on top of Simon’s eyes when he was close enough, making the younger one let out a yelp of surprise and he almost fell from his chair, but strong arms prevented him from falling down and he smiled. Simon was too busy with talking to Magnus and even though the other one saw a stranger coming closer to them, he decided not to say anything about it, since it seemed that Alec actually knew the guy.

“Guess who?” asked Raphael, whispering into Simon’s ear and grinned when he felt Simon’s eyelashes tickling his palm. Simon’s heart warmed up after he heard the familiar voice and he was happy that his boyfriend changed his mind in the end. He quickly removed Raphael’s hands from his eyes and got onto his legs, smiling when he saw Raphael standing there. “Surprise, _cariño,_ ” said Raphael and Simon blushed in the process.

“So that’s the boyfriend,” said Magnus to himself and then nodded when the two of them kissed, looking over at Alec, who wore a smile on his face. Magnus’ smile widened at that and he slowly took Alec’s hand back into his hand, gaining the teen’s full attention. Alec looked down and smiled shyly as he linked their fingers together under the table. “Having fun, angel?” asked Magnus and leaned closer to press a kiss onto the other’s temple.

“I thought that you weren’t going to like Simon,” confessed Alec and sighed. “But I am glad that I was wrong for once,” he then added and Magnus nodded. It was true, he also thought that Simon wasn’t going to be in the definition of his preference, but he had to admit it that he was a good guy after one got to know him properly.

“So you are The Magnus Bane, huh?” suddenly asked Raphael as he sat down and Magus shook his hand when the other one offered it to him. “The name’s Raphael Santiago,” he then added. “It is the honour to finally meet you. I don’t know if you have heard it already, but you are quite a star of our conversations. Alec always talk about you and he-”

“Shut up,” whispered Alec and kicked Raphael under the table. Or so he thought, because instead of Raphael, it was Magnus who let out a yelp of pain and Alec’s eyes widened. “I didn’t mean to kick you. I was aiming for Raphael,” he then added and glared at Simon’s boyfriend as his face started heating up, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.

“Stop being a child, Raphael,” said Simon and rolled his eyes. “Don’t tease Alec in front of Magnus,” he then added and earned a grateful look from Alec.

“Why not? It’s fun,” said Raphael simply and looked over at Magnus, who found this situation beyond amusing. He was someone who loved messing around with Alec, if the opportunity was right, so he decided to have his little fun as he leaned forward, closer to Raphael and Alec was horrified to what happened next.

“Oh really, he talks about me?” asked Magnus, amused and eyed Alec. “For example, what?”

“Hmm?” started Raphael and was amused to see that Magnus was on his side. It was true that Simon told him not to make fun of Alec, but there was nothing stopping him really. Plus, he meant not real harm. “For most parts, he is just going on and on about how hot you are,” said Raphael and Alec’s jaw dropped wide open.

“That is not true!” said Alec, defending himself.

“It kind of is,” blurted out Simon, but then quickly closed his mouth as he saw the other’s face.

Alec’s face was red as he turned to see Magnus, whose smile was wide and playful. At that exact moment, Alec just wanted to disappear and he quickly looked down, placing his hands together in his lap. It had been a while since he felt self-conscious and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach as he started over thinking every little thing, once again. He knew that Raphael meant no harm as he was messing around with him that was just how he was. And Magnus was just playing along with his game, yet still Alec didn’t like it. He didn’t like how it made him feel. He was afraid that Magnus might actually believe all of what Raphael was saying, because it wasn’t true. And if he would believe him, then just what exactly was he going to think of him? He didn’t like him only because of his looks; there was so much more. Alec gripped his jeans and closed his eyes, his heart hammering hard against his ribcage and the other three stopped chatting, their eyes on Alec, whose body was shaking and Magnus sighed.

Simon glared at Raphael, who just sent him a confused look, because he didn’t know what was wrong. However, he soon saw his mistake as he turned around to face Alec, whose face was dark and troubled. “Hey, Alec, I was just messing around,” quickly said Raphael. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Yeah, you know how he is,” said Simon quickly, interrupting his boyfriend. “He doesn’t think before he talks, so you shouldn’t let it bother too much.”

“Besides, Magnus knows that I was just joking, right?” asked Raphael and looked up at Magnus, who quickly nodded and wrapped his arms around Alec, pulling him close.

“Come on, calm down,” whispered Magnus and smiled softly as Alec looked up to him. “It was just a joke, don’t take it so serious,” he then added and Alec slowly nodded, his heart squeezing again. He didn’t like it that he was like that; he ruined the fun, he could feel it. The mood around the table had been changed and it was all his fault. Magnus noticed that Alec started blaming himself for something again and he quickly cut Alec’s train of thoughts by hugging his chin and he pulled his face up, kissing him softly. “Don’t fill your pretty little head of yours with useless worries, Alexander,” said Magnus and it was then that Alec finally relaxed and nodded, his mood brightening.

As the two were busy with kissing, Raphael received a light punch on the shoulder and he looked to Simon, who was in the middle of pouting. “What did I do now? I apologised, didn’t I?”

“That’s not it,” whined Simon. “Why aren’t you so sweet to me like that anymore?”

“God, not this again,” said Raphael and rolled his eyes, everyone around the table, including Raphael, bursting into loud laughter. After that, the four of them finally decided to change locations and decided to go to the cinema and somehow ended up going to a double date, even though it wasn’t planned. Alec had to admit it, he hadn’t had so much fun in years.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back with another chapter for this story :) I know it took me almost 4 months, but I can't help it, really. I've got a major writer's block on this story and even though I want to say that I'm not going to abandon this fanfic, everything is heading that way. I've just lost pretty much all of my motivation to finish this, which kind of sucks to be honest because I really wanted to finish this.   
> Anyway, I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter... it is what it is, I suppose :')

Alec has just finished school for that day and was happily walking down the street, headed straight to his home. It was Friday and since he had nothing special prepared to do over the weekend, he was looking forward to spend some time with Magnus on his own. He couldn’t wait to get home, because he wanted to see Magnus really badly and his heart started beating just a bit faster as Magnus remained on his mind. The teen tucked his hands into his pockets and let out a happy sigh, for once in his life everything seemed perfect. And for some reason, that scared him. Luck was never on his side and he was afraid that something might happen; it always had so far. One way or another, his happiness and luck were crushed by something really bad until then and he knew that he shouldn’t be too happy about everything, yet, he couldn’t help himself but to feel that way.

Jace and Sebastian had stopped picking on him, ever since that day that Magnus showed his dark side to Sebastian. Jace didn’t remember much of it, since he was knocked out for the most part, but Sebastian sure did and he didn’t even dare to look at Alec at school, he was too afraid. Jace, on the other hand, still wasn’t done with Alec and the teen knew that very well. However, Jace stayed back because Sebastian had begged him not to bully Alec anymore and the young man was happy to see that Jace seemed to listen to his best friend.

Alec narrowed his eyes, because he was amused. He didn’t enjoy watching other people suffer, but he still found it amusing how fast the tables were turned. Alec overheard Jace and Sebastian one day, who were discussing this matter. Jace just couldn’t get it through that thick skull of his that Sebastian was terrified of Alec and Magnus. The blond demanded an explanation why he couldn’t mess around with Alec anymore, but never got one. Sebastian knew it well enough to keep his mouth shut, not only because he was afraid of Magnus, but because he knew that other people wouldn’t believe him and they would classify him as crazy and now that was something that Sebastian’s pride and big ego didn’t allow to happen.

When he finally reached his house, he could see his parents through the window and yet another smile brightened his face. Both of them were really supportive of Alec after he finally decided to come out to both of them. While Robert liked Magnus, Alec could tell that Maryse wasn’t a big fan of him. To Alec, it didn’t seem that she disliked him. No, there was something different and more to it. It was as if the woman was afraid of him. Fear. Maryse was terrified of Magnus for some reason and Alec had a bad feeling about that, not knowing how to interpret it. Magnus was always nice to his parents, so Alec didn’t get it why his mother seemed to be so distant from Magnus. Did she know?

But if she indeed knew about it, then why didn't she say something? Was she too scared that Magnus would do something to her or was Alec again just too paranoid about everything? The young man sighed and shook his head, knowing that he shouldn't let him bother it so much. He knew that him mom would never do something to hurt him. On the other hand, he was more afraid of Robert doing something to Magnus. In the end, he did try to get rid of Magnus once back in the day and even though Alec knew now that his father was looking after him that time, he still held it against him and didn't completely trust him when it came to Magnus. Magnus had asked him if he had any intentions of telling his parents who he really was, but Alec still couldn't provide him with an answer. Probably not. They would think that he was insane.

With that on his mind, Alec finally stepped inside of his house and went into the kitchen, where he could see Robert and Maryse already waiting for him for some strange reason. That usually meant that they had something to tell him. He rubbed his palms together and put a smile on his face. “Mom, dad, hi,” said Alec happily and then blinked a few times. “W-what’s up?”

He thought that his parents were serious, but he felt his worries fleeing away as Maryse stepped closer with a smile. “A friend of yours came by today,” she said. “I mean he is still here, he asked if he could wait for you, so I sent him to your room. I hope that’s okay,” she then added and Alec frowned, not remembering that Simon would mention anything about coming over.

“A friend?” asked Alec and tilted his head to the side. “Simon?”

“No, not Simon,” said Maryse. “What was his name again?” asked the woman and looked back at her husband.

“Jace,” said the man and Alec’s eyes widened, his heart stopping.

Alec could feel his heart falling to the pit of his stomach and he quickly dropped his bag. His body froze for a second or so and then it moved on its own, quickly running up the stairs, to his room. His heart was thumping hard against his ribcage at the thought of Jace being alone in his bedroom. He couldn’t even understand it why the other was there in the first place. And pretending to be his friend? Did Sebastian tell him about Magnus? That made Alec’s worries worsen and he honestly didn’t know what to expect what to see after opening the door. He was half of expecting to see Magnus broken in pieces, but his eyes widened when he saw Jace sitting on his bed, apparently really just waiting for him. Magnus, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen and his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach at that.

“What the hell are you doing here?” asked Alec and closed his door, keeping his eyes focused on the shelf where Magnus was usually sitting at and he gulped, trying to keep his voice as collected as he possibly could.

“Sebastian said that I can’t pick on you at school,” said Jace and smirked. “But he said nothing about beating you up somewhere else.”

“W-what do you mean?” asked Alec, who didn’t really get it. Did the other one really come all the way to his house just to tell him that? Alec wasn’t afraid no, he was home and so were his parents. So there was nothing really stopping him back from protecting himself. Plus, he knew that Jace on his own was weak. “Why did you lie to my parents and say that I was your friend? I don’t mind you picking on me in school, but you have no right to come into _my_ house and-”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” said Jace, who had it enough. Alec flinched when Jace spoke, his voice was low and filled with anger. Alec didn’t even get it why the other teen was so angry, but he didn’t even care. His mind was focused on the fact that Magnus was gone and the fact that he was completely ignoring Jace was starting to annoy the blond one.

“Get out of my room,” snapped Alec.

“How dare you speak to me like that?” asked Jace and stepped closer, Alec stepping back on his own and he cursed when he noticed a smile on Jace’s face; he was still somewhat afraid of him.

“I can speak to you however I want when you are in my home,” said Alec, trying to sound collected, but he was failing. “I used to be afraid of you, but not anymore,” he went on by saying, knowing that he was probably digging his own grave, but he couldn’t stop the words back. He was done with being messed around with like that. “You are just a coward, who is nothing without Sebastian around. Admit it you’re just-”

“Take that back,” said Jace. “Take that back or I’ll-”

“Hit me?” asked Alec and scoffed. “I don’t care. I hate you… no, not hate, I despise you from the bottom of my heart and-”

“Shut the fuck up. Do you want to talk about me being a coward? How about you? You are nothing about your little boyfriend around, are you?” mocked Jace, his voice so low that it made the fear crawl back into Alec’s heart. Alec opened his mouth to say something, but then closed them again and eyed at the shelf and then looked back at Jace. Did he do something to Magnus? He didn’t know, did he? What if Sebastian sent him there to do something bad to the doll? That made Jace impatient and he quickly stepped closer to the other teen and clenched his jaw.

“Why did you come here?” whispered Alec, his voice small and he almost hated himself again for being so weak. He didn’t want to be like Jace; he knew that the other one was nothing without the big and bad Sebastian around. Alec, however, learned how to stand up for himself. It was true that it was Magnus who thought him that, but he didn’t need him constantly around, right?

“I hit the nail on the head, didn’t I?” asked Jace and his smirk grew wider when he saw that Alec’s eyes were suddenly wide with fear and he almost congratulated himself on making the other one feel so scared. There was just something that was extra satisfying about making Alec terrified. “You’re just words when that other freak isn’t around you. You know, Sebastian might act like a pussy, but that’s not me. I have nothing to be afraid of.”

Alec’s heart started beating much, much faster and he gulped thickly, because at that point he was convinced that Jace really did something to Magnus. He was sure that Sebastian was never going to tell him, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe it was Sebastian, who sent him there with a mission to destroy Magnus. However, Magnus wasn’t weak at all. With the magic that he possessed, he was quite strong, so there was no way that he’d let an idiot like Jace manhandle him like that. Then again, he might’ve been taken by surprise. What if Jace broke him and-

“What did you do to him?” snapped Alec and this time, he was the one who grabbed the collar of Jace’s shirt and rammed him into the wall, holding him tightly by his neck and he pressed him against the wall firmer, his heart hammering. Alec wasn’t the person, who got violent and aggressive easily, but he had his limits and Jace had just made him cross that line. It was as if something inside of him snapped and he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Years of bullying only added more fire to his rage and his eyes were dark with the thirst to cause Jace pain. God, he wanted to make him suffer. He surprised himself with his own thoughts, but he couldn’t think rationally now that Magnus was nowhere to be seen.

The sudden change in his behaviour shook Jace and he was in a very visible state of shock when Alec spun them around and trapped him against the wall with his own body. No matter how hard he tried to push him away, Alec didn’t budge and his eyes widened when he looked up in Alec’s eyes. Usually he found fear in them, but not anymore. There was just that anger and darkness and it was for the first time that he was actually _afraid_ of the other one. But, he didn’t get what Alec was talking about. Do what? To who?

“What the hell are you talking about?” scoffed Jace, trying to keep his face straight, but shivers ran up his spine when Alec’s face twisted in anger once again, his throat going dry. He was terrified, but there was no way in hell he’d let that show on his face. It would be too humiliating if someone found out that he was afraid of a freak like Alec.

“Magnus, where is he?!” yelled out Alec and he was surprised by how cold his voice sounded. He didn’t care, he was furious and scared at the same time. If Jace did something to Magnus, Alec was going to kill him. What even scared him more was the fact that he was serious when he thought about it.

“Who the fuck is Magnus?!” snapped Jace back and pushed Alec away. “Your little boyfriend?” he then asked and Alec let out a yelp when he was pushed away, confused. He was kind of expecting Jace to start mocking him or to tell him that his precious toy was destroyed, but for some reason none of that was coming and Alec was confused.

“My-my boyfriend,” stammered Alec, his breathing terribly uneven and he ran his fingers through his messy hair, trying to keep himself together. “He was supposed to be in here, he,” went on by saying Alec and Jace’s frown was growing. “You did something to him, I know you did,” stated Alec and pointed his finger to Jace. “Sebastian sent you, told you to destroy him and-”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” asked Jace, beyond confused at that point. What the other one was saying wasn’t making any sense. Destroy his boyfriend? As in killing him? That freak was even crazier than he first thought! Hurt someone, yes, but kill? “The room was empty when I got here. Trust me, if that thing was in here, I would be gone a long time ago.”

 _Thing?_ He called Magnus a ‘thing’? That did make him angry, but other than that, he could see that Jace was telling the truth. Apparently, he had no idea about Magnus being a doll, which made him feel relieved a little bit. On the other hand, he was growing more and more concerned. If Jace didn’t take Magnus, then where was he?! He should’ve known better, the happiness wasn’t going to last forever. He was foolish enough to make himself believe that he was actually going to be happy with Magnus. Forever. But, of course that wasn’t going to be the case.

“No, no, no,” started muttering Alec and he buried his face into his palms, trying to even out his breathing. He was nothing without Magnus. Nothing. It was all thanks to that wonderful man that made Alec feel better and without him he was so empty and-

“You’re fucking crazy,” snapped Jace and just as Alec was about to give him a well-deserved punch, Jace just pushed him away. The push caught Alec off guard, so he let out a yelp when he was shoved against the wall, his body hitting it with a loud thump. “I’m out of here. Sebastian was right, you’re insane. Fucking hell, what a freak,” he then spat out and quickly disappeared from Alec’s room.

Once alone, Alec tried to maintain calm. There had to be a rational explanation for why Magnus was nowhere to be seen. He probably hid himself when Jace came inside. With that on his mind, Alec picked himself off of the floor and straightened his clothes, clearing his throat. Happy to see that Jace was gone, he rubbed his palms together and looked up at the shelf, expecting to see Magnus standing there. His blood ran cold when he didn’t see him there and he bit into his lower lip. “Magnus?” tried Alec softly and let out a hitched breath. “He’s gone, you can come out,” he then said with a trembling voice, his heart falling to the pit of his stomach because all that he received as a reply was silence.

“Magnus, please,” pleaded Alec and got onto his knees, looking under his bed, but Magnus wasn’t there. Once going through everything in his room, including all of his clothes, books and other things, his room was a mess, but Magnus was nowhere to be seen. Devastated, Alec tried to stay calm. By then, he should be strong enough. Magnus had taught him that he was strong enough all on his own. But still, if-

“Alec, honey, what are you doing?” asked Maryse and Alec flinched when the door of his room was suddenly opened. All of his stomping around the room was enough to catch his mother’s attention, so she decided to go check up on her son. Alec didn’t seem too pleased with the Jace boy visiting him, so she worried. Her eyes widened when she stepped inside and she quickly hurried to Alec, who was sitting in the middle of his room, looking completely defeated. “Oh my god, what in the world-”

“Magnus,” said Alec with a small voice and looked up at the shelf. “The doll,” he then quickly corrected himself and Maryse stiffened when his name was mentioned. She still felt very uneasy about the whole thing, but she said nothing. Alec seemed happy with him, so everything else didn’t matter. “Have you seen it? I’ve looked everywhere for him and I can’t find him, mom,” he then said and saw that Maryse looked away. So, she knew?

“Oh,” said the woman and placed her hands together.

“You know something,” said Alec suspiciously and he straightened himself up, his heart beating like crazy. “What did you do? Where is he?”

“Okay, honey, first I need you to calm down,” said Maryse and quickly got up onto her legs and pressed her lips together. She indeed knew where Magnus was and she kind of hoped that Alec wouldn’t notice. Magnus was sound and safe, currently in the next room and it was all her fault for that. Alec, on the other hand, thought of the worst. Why should he clam down?

“Mom-”

“I went up to your room to clean around it a little bit while you were at school,” started off Maryse. “Well, as I was dusting around a bit, I knocked Magnus off of your shelf and ended up spilling coffee on him, because I was stupid enough to go cleaning with a cup of coffee in my hands,” she said and made a short pause, not knowing if she should laugh or not. Someone definitely wasn’t too happy about the whole thing, because she could’ve sworn that the doll looked rather annoyed when she carried Magnus into the bathroom where she washed him and his clothes. Since the beginning, something was telling Maryse that the doll had a mind of its own, so maybe Alec’s boyfriend really was the doll. Then again, just the thought of it seemed so ridiculous to the woman. But that would explain many things. And even if in the end the doll was alive, it wouldn’t matter. Alec loved him with all his heart and soul and it wasn’t Maryse’s place or anyone else’s to interfere with a happiness like that. She was indeed a bit frightened about the doll, but she was working on it. “He’s in the bathroom, Alec, drying together with his clothes.”

All of the worries fled away in a less than a second and Alec just sat there, completely dumbfounded. When the realisation started sinking it, a smile cracked his expression and he then just started laughing out loud. There he was, the entire time thinking of the worst scenarios in his happening, while Magnus was just in the next room, probably annoyed as hell. Maryse let out a nervous laughter and was happy to see that Alec wasn’t panicking anymore. After helping Alec to clean his room, she decided to let her son be for the time being and without even thinking, Alec disappeared into the bathroom, where he found Magnus. Smirking, Alec carried Magnus back into his room and then locked the door.

As soon as the door was locked, Magnus moved and started walking up and down Alec’s bed in his doll form, cursing loudly. He was pissed at Maryse for that, because having someone wash him like that hurt his pride. He was going on and on about it, completely oblivious of the fact that Alec was sitting there next to him silently laughing and when he realised that, he was offended.

“That woman hates me,” stated Magnus. “She did that on purpose and-”

“It was an accident, Magnus,” said Alec, who couldn’t keep a straight face. Annoyed and angry Magnus was kind of adorable, so he couldn’t really help himself really. Plus, he was just too happy to see that Magnus was safe.

“You’re on her side?” asked Magnus, appalled by Alec’s reaction and he climbed under the bedcovers of Alec’s bed and promised himself to stay there forever. He was embarrassed and he hated that feeling. “Plus, why are you laughing?” he then asked and peaked from underneath the blanket and groaned. “You’re horrible.”

“I’m sorry,” said Alec and lifted the blanked, pressing a kiss on top of Magnus’ head, careful enough since the other was still in a doll size. That seemed to calm Magnus down and honestly, it pissed Magnus off. He wanted to stay angry at Alec, but since he was being so sweet, his anger faded. “I’m not laughing at what happened. I’m just happy. You know, I thought that something happened to you when I couldn’t find you anywhere. Jace was here when I came home, so I thought that he did-”

“Are you okay?” snapped Magnus, suddenly changing sizes and Alec’s face grew hot when he realised that Magnus was still naked. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, no, he didn’t do anything,” said Alec quickly and Magnus felt his weight lifting off of his shoulders and he leaned closer, pressing their foreheads together. “I was more worried about you. I’ve searched everywhere and when I couldn’t find you. God, you don’t know how worried I was. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. I love you too much, Magnus.”

Magnus felt his heart shaking at Alec’s words and he had to bite into his lower lip. Alec loved him with everything that he had, and so did he. He was glad to see that nothing happened between Alec and Jace while he was gone and while he did want to talk about it more, he decided to let it go for the time being. Instead, he just smiled and gently chuckled. “I love you too, darling. It hurts me to know that you had to go through all of that on your own.”

“It’s okay.”

“Alexander,” breathed out Magnus and gently kissed his boyfriend, wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down onto the bed with him. Alec started laughing, but his laughter died out when he realised that he was lying on top of a very naked Magnus, his face literally on fire and just as he was about to climb off of Magnus, the other wrapped his arms and legs around him, not letting him go. “Stay here,” muttered Magnus and gently touched Alec’s cheek with his thumb, running it up and down it, smiling when he felt how warm Alec’s face was.

“Can’t you put some clothes on first?” whispered Alec and Magnus just shook his head.

“No can do,” he said playfully and waggled his eyebrows. “This is your punishment for laughing at me earlier,” he then stated and Alec hid his face into the crook of his face. Though, he didn’t really know if he should call it a punishment. Even though Alec was embarrassed, he enjoyed himself with seeing a naked Magnus underneath him. “I love you,” he then said again and Alec’s soft laughter filled the room when he was pulled down and their lips met in yet another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you liked the chapter. Like I've said before, it's not perfect... it is what it is xD  
> I don't know when the next chapter is coming, because I don't know how to continue / finish this.
> 
> Anyway, opinions & comments are well appreciated as always ^^  
> And I want to thank everyone who has been reading and supporting this fanfic so far.


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